Well, first off, congratulations with working so hard with your IC. No matter if your R or not with your BW, you have to do the work on yourself, for youself, so that you never find yourself needing to be on a forum like this one again. So keep digging.
As a BW, I can tell you that 4 months out, even though my FWH was doing hard work in IC, I was just coming into my rage and fear. Plus I was SO damned tired of hurting All The Time. I had promised to not make any life-altering decisions for 1 year, but I sure as hell wanted off this damned rollercoaster. Free-falling to the ground from one of the hills was looking better and better to me. And I wasn't sure if I could stand 6 more months with FWH or not.
Keep digging. Keep doing the work. Keep on with the actions vice blah blah from the mouth. Dig down deep and show the work that you're doing. It very well may be that at the end of both of your ICs, you walk away with better understandings of yourselves and why you do what you do, and your BW says thanks for all of your hard work, but I now realize that I just dont want to be married to you. That's a risk that you signed on for and you signed her up for behind her back. But don't let the fear of that derail the work that you know that you have to do for yourself. You owe it to your family, separate or together, your clarity and your mental health. Alone or together, you need to keep walking this path.
Best of luck.