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I know I've done wrong. I know I screwed up. BIG TIME! I feel so much remorse and regret. I know it's only been two weeks, and I know that I should be focusing on healing my BS, but I feel emotionally and physically drained. My BS has given me a wondrous gift. Another chance. But I am strugling. I feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions at once. I go from being angry, frustrated, depressed....etc. I was wondering if anyone else is going, or has gone through this.

We are 6 years out and fully reconciled but I remember that feeling well. Just being so emotionally drained, feelings of panic, feelings of sadness, guilt, anger at myself and the situation. Just so tired. There were times when my BH and I stayed up all night talking. He'd text me at work, call me at work, constant questions. Yes, all our own fault, but still...exhausting.

It lasts awhile but it does get better. It takes a lot of time. And a lot of patience and humility.

It does get better over time. It takes work. I have never gotten past the remorse and regret and it has stayed in the back of my mind but it had gotten better. Unfortunately now my one time affair has now been brought out of the woodwork due to a drunken night out....and now all the remorse and regret has resurfaced...

I woke up this morning still in a funk. I hoping this gets better soon!

I hoping this gets better soon!

It does and it doesn't. Mostly it will be exactly what you make of it. It's not that your being pulled in a thousand directions its that you aren't getting the ego strokes or validation from your A. On top of that you are being held accountable by your wife. For many of us waywards, myself included this was a hard transition. The only way it got better for me was seeing things for what they are. Not what I wanted them to be, you get angry and frustrated because you want to run emotionally but you know if you do that reconciliation is over so you feel stuck right?

What are you going to do different then every time before?

Healthy habits can help with these feelings, Jack. Do you exercise regularly and try to eat well?

Its still going to be draining for quite a while. Two weeks is just the tip if the iceberg. Its a marathon, not a sprint. Do not give up or become complacent. Find your outlet, regroup and stay in it for the long haul.

It really does get better.

I am felling the same way. It has been a little over a month for me and my H. We had a hard night last night. I am graduating next week, and my mom and sister are coming. One of my affair(unfortunately I have had many) was when I was visiting them. He doesn't really want them around. Basically they will drive 7 hours watch me graduate then needs to either go home or hang out in their hotel. It make me sad. When I expressed it, all he could think about is the times I could have hung out with them but decided to be with the OM. When he asked me how I was feeling about the choice, I said I was scared to talk about it, and he was triggered. He felt that is what put us in the situation in the first place. I want to talk about my feelings, but I dont wan to sound selfish. I just want to put his feelings first and forget about mine. He is right though, that was one of the issues I had. I just need to stop thinking about what is right for him. He is the only person who knows. I cant pick and choose what I say. There are also times when things seem normal so I become happy. I talk to him about my day and what I saw at school or on tv. Then I feel bad for acting normal. It is an emotional roller coaster. i never know how i should feel. i wish i could give you answers, but i am going through the same thing and wanted you to know. i heard it gets better. i know a couple who made it.