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Why does he talk bad about the same woman he cheats with?

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Lastnfinalchance posted 4/26/2013 12:55 PM

It is a month and 1 day since Dday for me. I ordered a phone tracker, placed it on his phone, and found sex messages and naked pics of atleast 4 different woman. Not to mention that my phone bill goes back over a year ago, and i have discovered atleast 10 woman on there. He claims he just needed someone to talk to to kill time, and that he's never slept with any of these woman or seen them since he got the number. WTF? You could have talked to me. He has been calling these woman more than he has called me while he's at work. He talked to a few of them for over an hour while he's on the clock, but everytime i called, he like "I gotta go hunny, got work to do, luv you, see you at home" But what i wanted to point out is that all the woman on the pics are woman that if seen in public with me, he would talk about how whorish or unattractive she was. He hates woman with short hair, but guess what? the main one he called looks like a little bald headed boy on drugs. Why does he talk about the same type of woman he's been contacting? I on the other hand am the total opposite of any of them. I have long hair, very attractive and he treats me like a trophy wife. Flaunts me around, and makes sure i fit the bill every time we leave the house. It just hurts me so bad, and lowers my self esteeme to know that he expects all that from me, but fools around with cheap, unattractive trash that would normally sicken him when he's with me.

[This message edited by Lastnfinalchance at 1:08 PM, April 26th (Friday)]

Bikingguy posted 4/26/2013 13:41 PM

I can't imagine when you are trying to get strangers to send you naked photos your standards will be that high! Probably the only trash WH could find that would respond!

torn2bits posted 4/26/2013 22:17 PM

My WH is a sex addict. Otherd have said I am very attractive yet he would sext and look at porn and had an affair with "porn with skin" near our house who is ugly.

Please remember that someone who has low, low self esteem usually has an affair with someone who they believe is beneath them to build themselves up. In JFO there is a thread that talks specifically about this aspect of the cheaters handbook. They are flawed and they most always "affair down".

Men who turn to porn and sexting are not fulfilled in their own lives and use it as others use food, alcohol, etcm to self medicate emotionally.

He could be a SA? He could be bored with his life. I wouldn't rule these things out from what you describe.

Sending you hugs.

Theradin posted 4/27/2013 10:12 AM

It sounds like he is trying to throw you off his trail by degrading and speaking down about what he is actually attracted to. It would be strange of him to actually say he WAS attracted to women who looked like that, because that would be 'giving it away' to you, if that makes sense? In short, I call bullshit. I think he is just playing games with you, unfortunately.

MrsDoubtfire posted 4/27/2013 13:17 PM

Because it has NOTHING to do with external looks and everything to do with how he is inside!! She ( inside) is as broken as him and is fluffing his ego. Why he makes sure you are perfectly turned out is ALSO fanning his broken feathers.

Can you not see it? If you look hot and sexy and well presented then HE looks ( so on the inside FEELS) better.

The OW can be fat, thin, short, tall, busty, lat chested etc etc etc etc ad nauseum... But she strokes his ego and that too makes him feel better inside.

Please people- it's NOT about external looks. It's about internal stuff---- THE WS'S internal brokenness

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