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Who's not ready to date? A show of hands please?

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notmeanymore posted 4/26/2013 13:11 PM

ME!!!

Recent fiasco has shown me I'm still too filled with fear. Fear of picking the wrong person, fear of being hurt. I can't stay in the moment and just observe and experience. Always looking ahead and trying to predict what will, should, and could happen.

It's not a healthy state to be in.

Refocusing on me. I'm about to get a job offer for a job that I am so excited about.

My kids are happy and healthy.

I'm 6 credits away from my Masters. Been working on it one class at a time, so I dont' think I really thought I'd ever be done. And I just got an A in a class that I hated.

I've got so much good going on. I should just revel in that for a while.

fraeuken posted 4/26/2013 13:48 PM

ME!!!

Tried it and could not do it. I am not so much afraid, just too selfish at this point. I just want to do what I want to do and be with my girls.

I built my life around STBXH for 18 years. Have too much going on now to make the same mistake again.

Go for your Masters! Congrats on your A. And congrats on the job offer.

absolut posted 4/26/2013 14:56 PM

Omg congrats on your masters. I'm prepping for my GRE. Supposed to be studying now!!! I also feel like I'll never make it, so I can't wait to be where you are!!!!Where's my smiley>>>>

Yeah I've been single 8 months. I did this therapy exercise where you make a list of the positive qualities and negative qualities of all the men you've dated seriously. Under negative, for all of them "LIAR"
So I'm just doing therapy stuff and working and studying.

tesla posted 4/26/2013 16:22 PM

Me

And I'm completely okay with it. I like doing my stuff. I like having my way. I like running my house.

There is too much good stuff to enjoy on my own!

h0peless posted 4/26/2013 16:25 PM

Over here! Unfortunately, I can't just tell people that I'm married if they start to get too flirty anymore though.

bbee posted 4/26/2013 16:27 PM

Me! I'm perfectly happy on my own, thank you very much!

Nature_Girl posted 4/26/2013 16:31 PM

ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!

I am SO not ready! My New Beginning is still only about me & my kids, getting my feet on the ground, getting my support systems in place, making sure my personal boundaries are set in reinforced concrete.

CharlieFoxtrot posted 4/26/2013 16:36 PM

Count me in!! Not ready, not sure when I'll be ready, and not sure if I ever want to be ready.

I do enjoy some sweet eye candy on tv/movies, which is a brand new thing for me...


hurtinky posted 4/26/2013 16:58 PM

I can't say I'm "not ready" because that implies I need to do something in order to successfully date, and I don't believe that to be the case. I'm ready. I just don't want to fool with it, for the most part.

If I meet a nice man in the normal course of life, and I determine that we seem fairly compatible, I'll consider a date.

But, I have decided that, for me, meeting up with people I know very little about (OLD) is a phenomenal waste of my time and energy.

I am just going to live my life. If a man pops into it, great. I'm good either way.

wildbananas posted 4/26/2013 17:00 PM

If I meet a nice man in the normal course of life, and I determine that we seem fairly compatible, I'll consider a date.

But, I have decided that, for me, meeting up with people I know very little about (OLD) is a phenomenal waste of my time and energy.

I am just going to live my life. If a man pops into it, great. I'm good either way.


This.

cayc posted 4/26/2013 17:01 PM

Raises hand. I'm not ready. Not even close. My efforts to date have done nothing but make me anxious, prime me to sink into negative land and indulge in my obsessive bad coping behaviors which make me feel worse.

One of my weekend plans is to stop by the hobby shop to pick up materials for some needlework I've been wanting to do. How's that for a non-making-yourself-available-project???

Nature_Girl posted 4/26/2013 17:20 PM

Ooooohhhhhhhhh.... Needlework? Yeah, uh, that doesn't really scream Red Hot & Sexy Mama Right Here. I'm thinking about looking up some stock exchange prices for some mutual funds. I think your thing sounds more exciting than my thing.

burnedcanuckEMS posted 4/26/2013 18:05 PM

ME!!!!!

And I totally agree with this statement:


If I meet a nice man in the normal course of life, and I determine that we seem fairly compatible, I'll consider a date.

But, I have decided that, for me, meeting up with people I know very little about (OLD) is a phenomenal waste of my time and energy


I made the mistake of dating while still hurting an vulnerable - and guess what? The guy I was dating turned out to be 1000 times worse than my ex-husband!!!! Unbeknownst to me he has a wife and child in a foreign country and is over here picking up women and having a good old time!!!! He is a dirtbag piece of shit scumbag. Total eyeopener.

I am sure I will not be dating for a looooonnnngggg time now I am sure. No way I am ready to trust. Two huge betrayals in a row, I really live up to my username.

FirstLoveGone posted 4/26/2013 18:13 PM

Ditto to what hurtinky posted. I honestly just don't feel like dating.

Survivor3512 posted 4/26/2013 18:15 PM

ME!!! I haven't even considered it yet. Too scared and hurt. I've got lots more work to do on myself before I even think about trying to date. But, I'm ok with that. I'm focused on myself, my kids, my job, my friendships, and figuring out what I really want in life.

FaithFool posted 4/26/2013 18:17 PM

notmeanymore, I'm six courses away from finishing a BA, one course at a time. Which means I'll probably be able to do an MA at seniors' rates, which is tuition-free....

Wheee!

Totally on the hurtinky train on the dating thing.

Way too much work and who has the time?

And I've never particularly enjoyed weeding....

tryingagain74 posted 4/26/2013 18:17 PM

You can absolutely add me to the list. I'm not even divorced yet, for one thing, but another is that I just don't have room in my life for that type of commitment at this point. I also know that I'm just not ready. I need more time to get to know myself again and to feel comfortable with the direction that my life has taken. I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet.

nowiknow23 posted 4/26/2013 18:59 PM

None for me, thanks. WAY too much already on my plate.

phmh posted 4/26/2013 19:09 PM

If I were to meet someone in real life, yes, but I turned off my OLD profile three months ago and it was definitely the right decision.

My life is so full right now that it would take someone really spectacular for me to switch things up enough to include them.

OnceInALifetime posted 4/26/2013 20:19 PM

Too much crap going on in my life right now, and also my last date many weeks ago left me drained and discouraged. For the first time I felt some mutual chemistry, but it didn't work out because she insisted on being a part of my kids lives before we even built a relationship.

I thought the early dating phase would be the tough part. That once there was mutual attraction it would be smooth sailing. Silly me, it's the relationship part that's tough, and I haven't even scratched the surface of that with anyone.

Why the hell would I want to go through that? Right now, dating feels like a regression. Like having to redo high school or something. Why would I want to go through that again?

I don't believe the reward is worth the anxiety or drama.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 8:20 PM, April 26th (Friday)]

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