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will I ever know.......

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melamber posted 4/26/2013 17:34 PM

my gut tells me his hiding something,TT me,even though I have no prove and I can say his done and doing all I've asked and need to help us move forward. Will I ever know.....

1) It was more than a EA.

2)the baby she's carrying is his,even though she was also in a relationship and my WH says she conceived once their EA ended.

and3)his has NC with OW at work.

Is it just a "trust" issues or is my gut right.How do I really know.

mysticpenguin posted 4/26/2013 19:56 PM

The only thing I've really taken away from this experience so far is that it is so critically important to listen to your gut and your intuition. They are ancient instincts that have evolved along with us to protect us. Let them do that for you.

What measures do you have in place to know that he is maintaining NC? What has he done to help you begin to contemplate trusting him again?


confused615 posted 4/26/2013 20:32 PM

A polygraph will answer question one,and possibly two.

He needs to find another job. Make it a requirement of R.

authenticnow posted 4/26/2013 21:27 PM

Trusting your gut is key.

Also, you can learn a lot by simply suggesting a polygraph. His reaction will speak volumes.

Rya617 posted 4/26/2013 22:30 PM

I had the exact same feeling, I could feel it in my entire being that he was still holding back details. My gut feeling was exactly right. After he finally admitted to everything, he felt better but I fell apart again. Keep strong and try to prepare yourself for the whole truth. I think that sometimes they think they are "protecting" us from being hurt even more.
I wish you the best! This is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to work through in my life..I'm hoping it is worth it

Theradin posted 4/27/2013 10:10 AM

Sorry to hear your struggles.

Unfortunately, your gut is probably right. Maybe not with everything you listed, but at least some of them. If you can't get him to be truthful with you, to the point you feel that he is not TTing and you know everything, then you may need to take some time to reevaluate what you're doing. He should be open and honest with you, even without you asking.

Have you checked out the 180 in the Healing Library? Might be a useful tool for you to implement while you continue to work on healing yourself, especially if he seems unwilling to open up and be totally honest about what actually happened (or what is currently happening).

Be strong.

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