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Newest Member: Faith12 (61824)

User Topic: Is it called triggering?
♀ 25144
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I triggering because my H told me he went to the country courthouse to get D papers today? I found out about his A almost 4 years ago because he asked me for a D (to M her...but he hadn't told me about her yet.)

If he was dedicated to R, it sure isn't sounding like it...and only a month ago he told me: I'm not going anywhere, you complete me, I'm 1/2 a person without you.

I didn't know if I could believe him at the time. I guess I wasn't a complete idiot for not swooning at his words, but deciding time would tell if they were true.

My heart is breaking, again.

Resources for R:
His Needs Her Needs, by Dr. Willard Harley
Love Busters, by Dr. Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband, by Reb Bradley

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Aug 2009
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You are not the idiot here.

Im so sorry.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♂ 38518
Member # 38518
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry for your situation.

You did nothing wrong. This is 100% HIM. Try to be strong during this very difficult time.

BH (me): 35
WW: 34
1 kid (7 y/o)
multiple affairs spanning our entire 11-year marriage
multiple d-days over the last 3 years (most recently: 1/3/2016)
divorced and finally released from this prison: 2/26/2016

Posts: 199 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ 37575
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please know that human beings in general are "hopeful", it's our nature. We all go to bed hoping that the sun will rise in the morning and we will have a better day than the one before. You are very normal in being a hopeful, trusting person!
I don't like when people play games with filing for divorce. I used to work with a guy who kept them filled out in his desk and then everytime he had a fight with his W, out them came to threaten her, what a joke!
Why threaten or hide it? If he is messing with you maybe you should offer to file them yourself, see what that does?
This whole thing really isn't about a stack of papers is it? We all just want to know where we stand in the relationship, are we together or aren't we? Is he committed to R and threatening D? Doesn't seem possible. There is a whole lot more to D than a bunch of papers, hope he realizes that.
I am sad for you. I am finding out this roller coaster ride is very confusing, sounds like you too.
I hope you can find a moment of peace this weekend! Hang on to what you know is true!
Take care,

Me: BW Him: FWH in our 50's
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas

Posts: 700 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Topic Posts: 4

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