Been married for 4 years. Thought he was the sweetest, most caring guy. Was really too good to be true.
He moved here from Canada to Oregon to be with me. At the wedding, his female friend, so close, they were 'sister' and 'brother' and nothing else.
She made my wedding a living hell...several things were missing and the wedding was full of hiccups thanks the her shenanigans. She cursed me out after my OWN wedding and I had no idea why she was so evil to me!
Her shenanigans didnt end there...she did something SO TERRIBLE (wont go into, but didnt involve me...involved someones child) that everyone stopped speaking to her after the wedding..
Fast forward to three weeks ago...I find TONS of messages back and forth between her and my WH. Sex chat, nude pics...promises that when he arrived in Canada, theyd hook up.
Most hurtful, was the fact that he told her that our marriage was unhappy and that he was thinking of leaving me.
Yes, our marriage had been rocky - especially the first year and a half. I thought it had gotten better than ever. ESPECIALLY seeing that i had JUST had an epiphany and told him that I want to be a better wife
He cancelled his Canada trip (he was scheduled to leave in 2 days). But it would have happened had i not found the messages!!!!! It stung, but I gave him another chance, and boy, has he been working overtime.
Here is my issue:
1) He thinks getting over it should be easy for me...after all it was only an EA, the woman is highly unattractive and I conversely am very attractive (but that didnt stop him, so IDK what he is talking about)
2) We were going to try to have children...should I wait til our marriage is stronger (and possibly lose the opportunity? Im 37. He thinks were ok and our marriage is stronger now than ever. I disagree.
I have a bad syndrome...I have the slate clean syndrome. My history in relationships is that I just wipe the slate clean and move on, but this is a marriage....this is very different....