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deciding to 180

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meplustwo posted 4/26/2013 20:32 PM

So, after another shitty week after a bunch of okay weeks (see my profile for details), I joined this site and I have already learned so much and feel so supported. Thank you all for sharing. It helps to know you are not alone. I am going to 180 his asset. I'm gonna initiate NC, which I'm sure will lead him to run to her with his needs. I have come to the realization that I may lose him forever by doing this, but I have already lost him to the fog of the A, so not really risking much. If there is any hope for R, I need to stop facilitating his cake eating. He won't make me a priority, so I will. I know I sound strong, but I'm totally weak for him. I'll need you guys in the next few weeks to get through. I am so grateful for all of you!

devistatedmom posted 4/27/2013 08:28 AM

If you do the 180 and he does snap out of it, great, but remember, you are doing the 180 FOR YOU, not him. You need to clear your head, get stronger, see things for what they are, and decide what is best for you.

I know it's scary thinking you could end up alone and that isn't what you want, but if he's lying, cake eating, rug sweeping, etc., then you really are already.

Time for you to get stronger, and see the world out there for yourself, not through is eyes. {{hugs}}

Skan posted 4/27/2013 20:13 PM

^^^ This is right. The 180 is for you, not for him. NC is for your well-being as well. It also brings some reality in to the unicorn-fart world of BSs but that's a side benefit.

Your name is especially apt. Me + Two. Three in a marriage. In a marriage that should only have two. And that's what you need to remember when you get weak. You are the wife. You are not the backup, you are not the second choice, you are the prize. Come back here whenever you need help or encouragement. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))

Sleepy312 posted 4/28/2013 20:14 PM

snort...unicorn fart!

@meplustwo, you sound strong. Be strong(unlike me) and do it. Good luck.

Safeguard posted 4/28/2013 21:28 PM

The 180 is awesome. it's like recovery boot camp. I am in low/no contact, we have a young child. But I am just starting a true 180. For my own sake.

sunshine226 posted 4/28/2013 22:14 PM

I hope it all works out for you, you will become stronger than you ever thought possible

today I stumbled with nc, but it was a blessing wh never called back, makes me more determined than ever to 180

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