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tesla posted 4/27/2013 09:09 AM

This morning I woke up, made a pot of coffee and went for a run. The weather is finally warm. I love that first warm weather run, it always feels like there are miles and miles of possibilites before me. After my run, a thought struck me. I have what ex-shat was trying to get. I have independence, financial stability, happiness, peace, a solid relationship with my son. EOW I get to myself--to spend as I want, to do whatever I want.

Ex-shat told me that he didn't think a family man life was for him - that he needed his freedom and solitude to fix the demons that troubled him.
Isn't it funny that I had 'freedom' forced upon me and yet I'm the one that has actually fixed the demons?! I was a co-dependent, hopeless, depressed mess in my M. I also had no idea how I was going to survive sending my Teslet over on visitation...the first few months were wretched. But now? Now it's just something we each do and when we see each other again Sunday night we tell each other about our respective weekends.

I really should send ex-shat a thank you note for fucking up our marriage so I could move on to something better.

Guess the FTG mojo got me through to the other side.

Williesmom posted 4/27/2013 09:16 AM

Love this. Welcome to the wonderful new life of tesla!

gahurts posted 4/27/2013 09:34 AM

Great post! Enjoy your Saturday!

IrishLass518 posted 4/27/2013 09:38 AM

Love this Tesla
Congrats on seeing the positive and finding YOU

CharlieFoxtrot posted 4/27/2013 10:13 AM


KeepOnMovin posted 4/27/2013 10:19 AM

Great post Tesla! will be working that FTG(irl) mojo into my life!

caregiver9000 posted 4/27/2013 10:47 AM

Love these thoughts! I too, think what I have is better than what I mourned at the beginning.


SBB posted 4/27/2013 10:49 AM

Love this.

There's a line in the Rhianna song "Stay" (which I hate BTW because it is the toxic dynamic I witnessed between my parents), but the line:

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one that needed saving".

Gets me every single time. I heard it a few months ago and I was stunned. The 'me' in that M did need saving. I wasn't strong enough to do it myself therefore this 'freedom' was forced upon me.

This lemonade out of lemons experience has turned into so much more. I can't even articulate it. I don't quite know what it is.

I wouldn't say I've fixed my demons just yet but I have brought them into the sunlight.

Cheers to you with my glass of fresh lemonade friend.

debbysbaby posted 4/27/2013 11:53 AM

I could have written your post. I can so echo this. Everything you said from wondering how I would survive my children being gone EOW, to it evolving into me enjoying my solitude is spot on. I also have thought about sending a thank you note but I think I would rather send it to the wifetress. If she hadn't been stupid enough to stay with him and had just dumped him like his previous other women had done, I probably would have let him come back and remained in that miserable prison of a marriage. Thank God she stuck around and kept him away from me long enough for me to realize what a gift I had been given. I truly do owe her thanks.

PurpleRose posted 4/27/2013 12:13 PM

Yes yes yes!!

You have transcended, my dear! Whoop!

I love this song lyric from Stay (by Rhianna)

Funny you're the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving

I think of this quote daily, and it really does apply to my situation - but it's truly your's too! Amazing!

I am finding the same thing for me, and I am so glad! I thought I would be destroyed forever, broken, sad, miserable.


I am so happy, so free, and moving on to wonderful things in the next few months! I am so excited about my life now!

ETA: ok, now that is really funny! I posted before reading the rest of the responses, and it seems that SBB and I have the same lyric vault! LOL!!

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 12:16 PM, April 27th (Saturday)]

5454real posted 4/27/2013 12:15 PM

Here's the thing with the note. He'd never understand. How could you possibly be happy without a SO in your life?

Especially him?

Way to go!

FaithFool posted 4/27/2013 12:16 PM

Ann124 posted 4/27/2013 13:38 PM

I really should send ex-shat a thank you note for fucking up our marriage so I could move on to something better.

This is wonderful ... My thoughts were exactly the same this morning as I was enjoying my morning also. Great for you T!!!

SBB posted 4/27/2013 17:01 PM

PR, Snap!!

Nature_Girl posted 4/27/2013 17:16 PM

Love it!

WakingFromADream posted 4/27/2013 18:54 PM

This is the sort of thing that I've been thinking about recently. The chance to have time for me. The chance to not have to think about WW. The chance to have a life that's not mired in the muck and come out the other side. Posts like these really help me see that it's out there and I just have to get to it not as an end point but a starting one.

Amazonia posted 4/27/2013 19:35 PM

he didn't think a family man life was for him

Yet he moved from your family to Stripper Whore and their baby Doesn't sound like a very smart guy.

So glad that you're doing well, Tesla

Grace and Flowers posted 4/27/2013 19:47 PM

I was so happy to read this post. I get it. I've thought the exact same I am, so healthy and happy....but I never imagined I would get here.

I did not want a divorce. But I am just so much happier in my new life. And WXH? Miserable. Still. Bizarre.

tesla posted 4/27/2013 23:13 PM

Yet he moved from your family to Stripper Whore and their baby Doesn't sound like a very smart guy.

I know...the irony. This guy doesn't need the karma bus to run him over, he's already had the karma tank splat him. What a fool.

tryingagain74 posted 4/28/2013 14:37 PM

Same here-- I'm moving on and enjoying life, and STBX has thrown me over for... a woman older than he is who will be moving in his place with her two kids... so... uh... yeah. Not really sure what's going on in that pea brain of his, but I'm glad that it no longer has to concern me!

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