Your D-Day is close, so I agree that it was too soon to celebrated anything with others invited. Best to have just two of you there, and kids, for next year or two and keep things simple.
Also, this stuck out at me a bit:
But as I grew older I would feel disappointed by the end of my bday. I would see the 1-2 things wrong with the day.
You really, really need to stop setting yourself up for what will actually be a huge disappointment if you really expect a big moment from a birthday. Nobody feels some great joy from a birthday when they've grown up and moved out of their parents' house. They smile, they laugh but THEY'RE FAKING IT. So stop fearing disappointment and start looking realistically at that date - it's just a day on the calendar and, if you're like me, it's work, it's feeding kids, helping with homework if they're younger, same-old. Learn to view it differently, as in making others feel good that day rather than making it about you. It's freeing. Wake up and say "I can eat cake today without guilt!" and let that be the happy moment, cause really, that's what it is.
Never again will you feel like a little girl running in circles about to explode from anticipation on your birthday, and fun and getting all the gifts when you're 7 years old, and having friends come over to play with and blowing candles and being a little star. Just doesn't happen when you're an adult. So let that go, like letting go of the string of a helium balloon, and without such expectations of what can no longer be (like Christmas and Santa when you were 5) you no longer have disappointment.
Because..YOU'LL NEVER EVER AGAIN FEEL THAT WAY, after you're an adult, unless it's a rare moment. Birthdays aren't that big a deal when you can buy your own toys and don't have to wait a year to get them.
A birthday is a song, a cake, people in your family who tell you they love you. Maybe a co-worker saying happy birthday.
That's it. And that's all it should be, and your job (most years) is to make your family think they've made you happy that day, even if you're bored out of your gourd or worried about work or whatever.
When we're grown up, we see our birthdays as allowing others closest to us to show us they care, and graciously accepting it as if a piece of cake and a song - or even a gift - mean something, when the day feels like just another Wednesday or Friday in the year. Just that someone cared to sing that stupid song, that's all that is important, and to be grateful someone does care enough to sing it to hope to make us happy for a moment. I am older than you, and am grateful for the people I have because when I turned 50, my kids left for college and my relatives and friends started dying.
I understand the anger at the WS. But try to lessen expectations of holidays and birthdays. They aren't magic, just a little food, some songs, sometimes prayer and a few people we love. That's all, but it's more huge than we realize how precarious life can be.
[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 3:02 PM, April 27th (Saturday)]