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Two years now...

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persevere posted 4/27/2013 15:59 PM

Since D was final. I thought I was ok with it, certainly better than last year, but right now it's kind of hitting me. I don't miss him but it still hurts on some level.

BF is spending the weekend with me, he went home to do some stuff but will be back in a bit. We talked about it this morning and I was good.

The after affects of all of this seem to lessen but I hate how long it takes...

time2grow posted 4/27/2013 16:48 PM

I think it takes longer than most realize. My D was final 2 1/2 years ago and Iím finding things that I want to work on before I get serious about a relationship. I thought I was ready to move on a couple of years ago but discovered quickly how wrong I was. As I become more comfortable and content with myself, I find my mind drifting to the things I look forward to having. Youíre not alone, on some level I believe the pain will always be there but in time and working on myself I find it does dissipate.

gma56 posted 4/27/2013 17:13 PM

I passed the 5 yr mark and still working on my issues that were blown up because of the infidelity.

I agree with you, the after shocks takes a long time to lessen but I'm finding the damage with my own issues are just as difficult and takes a long time to work through.
No fast path out of this, is there ?

I don't miss him but it still hurts on some level.
For me most of the hurt was from the broken dreams/plans and rejection.
Hugs and you are still working through the shitty path we were put on.

Hugs
Gma

Sad in AZ posted 4/27/2013 18:33 PM

No one gets married with the idea that they'll get divorced some day. I didn't want to divorce because it felt like failure; I came to realize that the failure would have been staying married to a cheater.

Kajem posted 4/27/2013 19:52 PM

It took me almost 5 years before I let go of the dreams we had as a married couple. Then a couple more years of no plans. Now I am planning.

It is 10 years since he was told to leave. 9 1/2 since the divorce.

It takes as long as it takes you to process the changes. Take your time... we will be here.

Hugs,

K

MovingUpward posted 4/27/2013 20:58 PM

(((persevere)))

Not much more that you can do than you already are. Just continue to communicate the fears and feelings to your SO

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