Me- SAHM 30yo BS
Yesterday was DS7's First Communion. My WH bought his suit, bought DS1's suit, got DS7 a gift he really loves, he was really involved in the day. I was happy that he stayed so active in this event.
What was really really hard was having to sit next to him in church for over an hour. Particularly during the sermon which was all about nurturing and caring for your marriage so the love doesn't flicker out. How easy it is to fall in love, but staying in love took effort, respect, work, etc. I couldn't help if, I started crying, to my absolutely horror, in front of him, my kids, 300 congregants including my in laws and mom. I tried to play it off and keep quiet, and said it was because I couldn't believe how big my two older kids are, etc etc. My kids bought it, but I doubt anyone else did.
Afterwards we took pictures, I made sure not to have any with him. It was so very awkward. Then I took the kids out to dinner, minus him, came home and poured a huge glass of wine.
I did get in a cheap shot though. Halfway through the service I leaned over and told him that it was a shame that this new baby wasn't going to be gorgeous like his current three because all OW's children are so hideous. Low blow I know, and horrible to say about children, but sometimes I get so sick of turning the other cheek and taking the high road. His response was was sigh angrily at me, like he can't believe what an angry, hate-filled person I've become. As if it has nothing at all do with him, ha.
It's so difficult to be around him. I'm still in love with him and have so much trouble reconciling the facts of what he did to me with the man I knew. He has been my rock, my best friend, my safety for 12 years. I met him 4 months after graduating high school, that's my whole adult life. I can see and feel how done he is with me, he's simply not in love with me anymore. He has HER now, and the baby on the way. He can sit and talk to me no problem, doesn't try to fight with me, there's no emotions involved at all.
That, I think, is the worst part of all of this. He is done, he simply doesn't love me anymore.
[This message edited by Zamas at 8:39 AM, April 28th (Sunday)]
Him- 32yo WS
Three kids, 9, 7, 10mo
Their baby was born in Sept and they are happily househunting. He finally left 4/03.