SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi all,

Struggling with the desire to out him and the skank. I want people to know the truth about him, who he really is. A lying, cheating pig. He is the chairman of the board of several charities, he is even serving on the board of the organization the skank works at. Just received the distinguished alumni award from his alma mater. He has a moral contract he needs to abide to for his job. All of this is built up on lies!!!!!! He is a liar and a cheat!!!! He is a selfish narcissist. A money worshipping, shell of a man.

My therapist asked me what would change for me if everyone knew that he is a lying cheat. I want people to know the truth about him, that he's not this man of integrity and honestly. That his "soul mate" is a whore that went after a married man. That their relationship started in a lie. That their relationship has come at a tremendous cost to me. That he is not the victim here. He's telling people that I left him, that I filed for divorce. That I was too busy with school work to be a wife to him. Never mentioning that he started an affair in August. That he snuck off to hotel rooms to be with his skanky "soul mate". That he texted her while lying next to me in bed, masturbated in our bed while thinking about her (she commented that he was such an "animal") That he lied on his loan application. That he lies about "selling the bank", it was sold out from under him. He was told about the sale of the bank the week before it was made public and he was the President of the bank. Shows how much respect the bank investors had for him.

His actions have devastated me and my son. He has moved on with his life, living in the house we shared together. Entertaining his skanky "soul mate" and their friends in the garden I designed. Pig. He brought her to an event at the organization I have volunteered at for years when he knew I was going to be there. He is a heartless pig.

My attorney's advised me not to say anything since I have a financial stake with him (I know money is important, but in a way, I feel like he is buying my silence to protect his precious reputation. He should have thought about that before he fu&*ed her). It just infuriates me that I have to just suck it up, not out him to the charities he serves (They would be shocked to find out what he has done and the lack of character and integrity he has), the place he works at, tell the organization the skank works at that she started an affair with my husband and he has been fu*&ing her and serving on their board.

Our families know the truth, my close friends know the truth.

How do you reconcile this??? I have already paid a huge price for him to "be happy". He has no remorse, feels no shame for what he has done. Instead, tried to blame me and guilt me for it!!!!

I want people to know the truth! I don't want to get into any legal problems, but I know the truth!!!!! I just feel that if everyone knew the truth about him, I wouldn't carry his dirty little secret anymore, I would not be a part of protecting his precious reputation when he is the one that put it at risk. He would fall from grace, he would have to deal with the consequences of his actions, instead of me dealing with the aftermath of his cheating. I did nothing wrong, he should be paying the price for his actions.

He cheated before, on wife number 2 and outside of the fact that his step daughter doesn't speak to him (the only consequence he has suffered), the karma bus has passed him by. My son will never speak to him and the pig blames me, says I turned my son against him. His affair, his actions are what turned my son against him.

I want him to be held accountable. I want people to look at him, knowing the truth about him. Watch the fall from grace, for the both of them.. I want him to pay the price for what he has done. Spend a couple of days rolled up on the floor, in pain. Know that when he walks out the door, everyone knows who and what he really is.

Ok, why not send anonymous letters to these organizations, then? OR, volunteer for them and give a few people there the REAL story? I say out them. Both of them!

Dawn - I feel you...I wish I had some concrete advice for you...but I don't.

Try to find relief in knowing OW won't be his last and she will one day know the pain you're feeling. Please know YOUare not keeping his dirty little secret. When people say things like - I'm so sorry to hear about the divorce...respond with "it's was unfortunate...but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't like his girlfriend..." it will get around - mate not enough to harm his career -but people will know the truth.

I'm glad you're in IC...keep working on healing...and listen to your lawyer...the best way to hurt guys like him is through his wallet. Take pleasure in knowing until your son is done university, he'll be working for you....

(((dawn)))

I wonder how much a billboard cost...wouldn't it be great to be able to put a billboard up along a major highway in your area...

"Yes, of course I divorced him, I didn't like his girlfriend."

of course, with his picture, and your name at the bottom...

Perhaps when all the legalities are tied up and done, you could alert the relevant bodies to his (ahem) indiscretions in a dignified way?

It's so horrid to feel so 'dismissed' and unjustly having to deal with his (and her) filthy secrets.

I would be so furious in all honesty that I could barely contain myself.

Be careful not to harm yourself right now sweet. You can harm him AND her better when you can reveal without harming yourself.

Is it possible to 'alert' particular people in a surreptitious way??

I don't want you to be harmed by any possible backlash, that is my main concern, but I do agree entirely with what you feel is so unfair.

I feel EXACTLY the same way about POS. Reputation built on integrity and moral character. What a crock of BS. I want the whole world to know the REAL person as well, and I am still waiting for the karma bus that keeps missing him.

That being said, I offer a few thoughts (from someone who is also furious about having to suck up the injustice). First, wait until all legal stuff is complete. Courts tend to look negatively on a spouse that does anything vindictive that could harm the other spouse's livelihood so it could come back and bite you in the ass. Second, even after all legal stuff settles, don't do anything unless you have absolute, unquestionable proof. Otherwise he could go after you for defamation of character if he knows you are the one responsible.

I know it is not fair and sucks big donkey balls, but you need to bide your time and be careful. That is what I am doing. In the meantime, I pray regularly for the karma bus to take care of things for me.

I believe you posted once that he lied on some sort of application. Perhaps it's time that those lies come to light?

I wonder how much a billboard cost...wouldn't it be great to be able to put a billboard up along a major highway in your area.

I wondered my self over the weekend how much a billboard would cost. I would so love for her co-workers know she cheats with a married man after all the whining she did when her husband cheated.

@Dawn58 - I would wait until legal is over like someone else said, then let folks know the truth. In my case the legal is just a formality because our children are grown and we really do not have assets etc. my WS says it is all my fault and the OW believes him.

I know. Boy do I know. The OW in our case got away free as a bird after it helped to implode our family. Great job, got married to a brand new guy in less then a year, 2 babies, promotions at her work....people think she is fabulous.

But I just won't do it. UNLESS she dares to cross back into my world and I find out....THEN the gloves come off. Cuz she got out of town before it all imploded and I never got the chance to out her to anyone as she was single at the time.

But in your case with financial stability in your future (I know its just money) and the ability to get away from this douche.

I had to let it go. But I won't say I don't understand. Everytime I see her in a trade magazine (not for her beauty but it involves a sport)and she gets these great write ups I just want to shout to the world. But I can't.

Hang in there and vent here.