SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

eyesrnowopen posted 4/28/2013 17:01 PM

My husband wants me to forgive him as was wrong and made a mistake. To my husband: you can not claim to have made a mistake. You made a deliberate choice of betrayal. A mistake is : a wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention

One phone call or text is a mistake. A ONS could be a mistake. Pursuing and promoting a younger women to create opportunity is a choice an immoral choice. Planning to take three different women to a conference to provide you with the possibility of sex and attention is a choice not a mistake. Asking a women to our house for sex is a choice you made. Doing this multiple times over an extended period of time and lying to your wife and family and putting our lives and security at risk is a life style choice not a mistake. That is what you are asking me to forrgive. Don't ever label this as a mistake.

mchercheur posted 4/28/2013 17:04 PM

I agree with you.
That many times is more than "a mistake."
If he can acknowledge that he is a serial cheater & be truly remorseful about that thru actions, & you can look at it as a sickness, then maybe you can forgive him.

crazynot posted 4/28/2013 17:08 PM

HE is a mistake.

Phoenix1 posted 4/28/2013 17:10 PM

My POS labeled his as "bad decisions." And somehow repeating those "bad decisions" and labeling them as such is supposed to somehow make it excusable and forgiveable as simply being a human weakness. Does he really think I fell of the turnip truck yesterday wearing a sign that says 'idiot?' The excuses cheaters come up with to try to excuse their actions and avoid accountability is absolutely mind numbing. Apparently they don't understand that they, and possibly other cheaters using the same "Cheaters Excuse Handbook" are the only human beings that believe that bullshit.

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 5:11 PM, April 28th (Sunday)]

gonnabe2016 posted 4/28/2013 17:17 PM

LOL. You think you're mad now, just wait until he starts pulling out the "this happens in 50% of marriages, and THEY get back to happy" or "it happens all the time, why do you think there's so many articles and books about it?"....all leading to --> "It's no big deal, just get over it already."

Serial cheaters (mine anyway) just don't understand that they are not the *normal* breed of cheater....

confused615 posted 4/28/2013 17:38 PM

A ONS is not a mistake.

Nobody trips and falls onto a penis..or into an open vagina.

All A's are deliberate,purposeful,and cruel.

Mine called what he did a mistake the other day. RYFKM???

Safeguard posted 4/28/2013 18:48 PM

Yeah. I always felt bad for Ted Bundy too. Poor man just made a few mistakes/bad choices. I'm sure he never meant to HURT anyone.

*Sarcasm off*

somanyyears posted 4/28/2013 19:00 PM

..so i guess a LTA that lasted for 18 years wasn't a mistake either?????

..fortunately my fww never claimed it was a mistake.

..marrying her WAS a mistake when i look back at who i married.

..smy

stronger08 posted 4/29/2013 03:14 AM

Affairs should never be labeled or accepted as "a mistake" Affairs are a choice that are made willingly with the knowledge that their M will suffer much damage if caught. And they do it anyway.

Ashland13 posted 4/29/2013 07:28 AM

Mine said about his LTA, "It was only supposed to be a fling. I didn't stop it. Oops."

WTF?