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eyesrnowopen (original poster member #39055) posted at 11:01 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
My husband wants me to forgive him as was wrong and made a mistake. To my husband: you can not claim to have made a mistake. You made a deliberate choice of betrayal. A mistake is : a wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention
One phone call or text is a mistake. A ONS could be a mistake. Pursuing and promoting a younger women to create opportunity is a choice an immoral choice. Planning to take three different women to a conference to provide you with the possibility of sex and attention is a choice not a mistake. Asking a women to our house for sex is a choice you made. Doing this multiple times over an extended period of time and lying to your wife and family and putting our lives and security at risk is a life style choice not a mistake. That is what you are asking me to forrgive. Don't ever label this as a mistake.
2013 DD. 2 yrs false R
TT - 3 OW admits to flirting since 2004 8/2015 Divorcing after 20 yr M
DS 16, DDs 18 & 30
Learning to be resilient
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 11:04 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
I agree with you.
That many times is more than "a mistake."
If he can acknowledge that he is a serial cheater & be truly remorseful about that thru actions, & you can look at it as a sickness, then maybe you can forgive him.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
crazynot ( member #24572) posted at 11:08 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 11:10 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
My POS labeled his as "bad decisions." And somehow repeating those "bad decisions" and labeling them as such is supposed to somehow make it excusable and forgiveable as simply being a human weakness. Does he really think I fell of the turnip truck yesterday wearing a sign that says 'idiot?' The excuses cheaters come up with to try to excuse their actions and avoid accountability is absolutely mind numbing. Apparently they don't understand that they, and possibly other cheaters using the same "Cheaters Excuse Handbook" are the only human beings that believe that bullshit.
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 5:11 PM, April 28th (Sunday)]
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 11:17 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
LOL. You think you're mad now, just wait until he starts pulling out the "this happens in 50% of marriages, and THEY get back to happy" or "it happens all the time, why do you think there's so many articles and books about it?"....all leading to --> "It's no big deal, just get over it already."
Serial cheaters (mine anyway) just don't understand that they are not the *normal* breed of cheater....
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 11:38 PM on Sunday, April 28th, 2013
A ONS is not a mistake.
Nobody trips and falls onto a penis..or into an open vagina.
All A's are deliberate,purposeful,and cruel.
Mine called what he did a mistake the other day. RYFKM???
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Safeguard ( member #38899) posted at 12:48 AM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
Yeah. I always felt bad for Ted Bundy too. Poor man just made a few mistakes/bad choices. I'm sure he never meant to HURT anyone.
*Sarcasm off*
"since your actions don't match your words, excuse me while I stop believing you."
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 1:00 AM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
..so i guess a LTA that lasted for 18 years wasn't a mistake either????? 
..fortunately my fww never claimed it was a mistake.
..marrying her WAS a mistake when i look back at who i married.
..smy 
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 9:14 AM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
Affairs should never be labeled or accepted as "a mistake" Affairs are a choice that are made willingly with the knowledge that their M will suffer much damage if caught. And they do it anyway.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:28 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
Mine said about his LTA, "It was only supposed to be a fling. I didn't stop it. Oops."
WTF?
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
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