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well now that i have kicked Ws to curb ifeel like I'm waiting for next bomb to drop. what i mean is I don't want to make rash decisions as it's only been 5 days since D-day so i'm not ready to ask for a divorce and he isn't sure thats what he wants. So I can't stop thinking there is a glimmer of hope, but I don't want to think this way I want to just assume it will end in divorce so that I don't get my hopes up and then get dumped on again. I don't know if that is coming out right does anyone understand what I mean? I'm also having trouble not driving by her house to see if he is there. So far I haven't seen him there. every minute of the day I am wondering where he is. I feel like I am dying inside so confused, hurt, angry, how do I stop getting hopes up and just wanting his arms around me. How can I feel this way after what he has done?

Dear waiting, you have just entered the twilight zone, you are about to feel more confusion, hurt, pain, and large quantities of anger.

I am 2 months from dday and the confusion grows and grows. I love him, I want to "fix" this at all cost; to F him, he did this to me and us. Divorce yes, divorce no way.

Confusion, pain, anger, and uncertainty (about everything) are now your companions.
Stay on here, they help a great deal. There are many very wise people on here

Give yourself time, I still don't know and I think that's normal. Do the 180 to save yourself down the road. Whether you D or R, I think it is valuble.

Stay strong, look after yourself. Remember this is something "he" did. Look after you.

I read a great quote the other day
"I am more important to ME than my relationship."