Hi @allatsea.
I know your story and where you are coming from.
I am an engineer too :)
My GF in college betrayed me for a guy who got a mediocre degree and was working for scraps. Just because I was studying and had my monetory limitations I could not provide her that much fun.
When we were in the fog/A/lurve we used to talk for hours and hours on the phone. One Sunday she calls me and tells me she is leaving for another guy. Thats right she finished it in one call. I kept calling her on the same day. Her domestic help told me she was taking a shower. I instantly knew she was getting ready to meet OM. She was getting irritated that I was calling so very often. She met the OM the same day and stroked his ego. I was the extra now all of a sudden. I just couldn't see her in OMs arms. I was left with a big void in my life. She did not feel guilty because she had OM to keep her busy. She basically hopped nests.
Then I severed both my arms from dialling her number (metaphorically speaking) It was very very painful.
At that same time I met this very beautiful and bubbly girl who was very cute. She liked to hang out with me. She was a sweetheart really. I had still not recovered from the shock exGF had given me. I kept on bringing my exGF in conversations with this new girl. She totally understood and heard me out patiently. I introduced her to my friends and she became a part of our group. I got a part time job between studies and excelled in it. But, I still thought of exGF whenever I could get time
6 months passed by. Back in those days I was holding an MSN messenger account. I updated my status (Available, busy, out to lunch etc..)to "I am in a multinational company finally". I positively thought exGF had blocked/deleted me off her friends list as I we were no longer in talking terms.
Guess what, she suddenly appeared (unblocked) on the screen a few days after I updated my status and we began chatting.
In six months after the breakup she had an abortion (18 yo exGF), OM was abusive made her cry always, was only with her for the sex portion of it and never committed to her.
I asked her why she didn't come back to me . And the golden answer was "I felt guilty for what I had done to you"
Which sub conciously also meant "I messed up and didn't want to give you the feeling of victory"
So she got what she wanted but it lasted for a couple of months and she dragged it on for 4 more months instead of coming back to me. I took her back BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SI back then, and then threw her back again when I found out she was juggling me and OM together.
Today, from her FB I know she is married to another person neither me nor OM. Is obese, doesn't work, got some useless degree (she was capable of much more) Well best of luck dear.
As for the bubbly girlfriend she distanced away from me becasue I could never get over my ExGF. My loss.
Trust me on this. When they are all alone, they do think about what they have done. They will even shed tears. But they are too timid to own up the destruction they have caused.
Right now you are assuming that they will live happily ever after. Maybe now everything is hunky dory for her. Things do normalise.
Then they wonder what BS is upto.
Right now there is a void in your life. A big gaping hole. You need to fill it with healing. Later on when you find a great SO you won't even look back.
Your WW doesn't feel/show an iota of guilt right now. Her current status is to grab what she always wanted in the OM with both hands.
She is on top of her world.
Even if she has made a mistake she will not show it now. She will try to justify her selection and behaviour. She is not going to give you the chance to say Aha! Told ya!
I know this hurts and it takes time to heal. But the time to heal totally depends on you. Get more involoved with friends, get busy, do everything to occupy your mind. You'll still remember her but she'll consume lesser and lesser mind space.
Right now @allatsea you have to maintain a level head, excel in your job and prove to ourself that you are capable of being successful and raising your dear kid alone. You have to go through this, but, we engineers excel most when we are challenged, right ? You will pull through with exellent results and emerge stronger.
In a nutshell she will eventually feel guilty and you'll be lucky to know she is feeling guilty. God will show it to you. Trust me.