A good therapist won't allow those things, so if it seems to be going that direction, get out and find a different one.
Unless that is fully understood by a MC or IC, and is addressed first, nothing productive can come of the counciling IMHO.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
The unknown is usually scarier than the actual event.
If your WS begins to say I did A because of X, Y, or Z in the M, your (or better the MC’s) response should be “Why did you choose to have an A in response to X, Y, or Z rather than some other more productive and better for the M action?”
We started in MC after dday thinking he would help us to keep civil as we D. It was not until FWW started doing IC every 2 weeks for a couple of years that we got to the point of actually working on the M.
It takes some shopping, one size in underwear or MC does not fit all.
...my biggest fear is that the councilor won't concur that the affair is all WS fault...
We have an excellent MC/IC who helped me and is still helping FWW. One of the first things that he said when we went in after dday was to look at my FWW and say "Your affair had nothing to do with Atsenaotie". He held this line with her and would call her out when she tried to blame shift.
I would rather him go to IC first and then later MC, but right now I will take what I can get and hope the MC can get him to go to IC. I am making sure that the MC I find deals with Infedelity and PTSD. If I find one that only wants to concentrate on pre-A issues, then I will not go back to them and will look until I find one that does.
Good luck with your MC session. I hope it helps. (((HUGS)))
((( and strength )))