I just want someone to love me. Someone to want me.
Who are the people in your life who do love and want you? And if there aren't any or aren't enough then I really like all the other suggestions about places to meet people, meetup.com and other support groups worked for me.
I found a piece of advice really helpful when I was in this exact same place - although we're relational beings by nature and we want romantic love, there are also other types of love. There are ways to fulfill your wants/needs for connection in non-romantic ways. Sure it doesn't feel all the way as nice as a husband, but healthy relationships with men are on the horizon. Now is the time to enjoy the feeling of connecting with really good friends or family members or even a laugh with a stranger over something funny that happens out in public somewhere.
I know it's soon, but can't shake the feeling that I'm empty without someone to share life with. What if I never get that someone?
Do you really, truly, honestly believe that? Or is that fear and pain talking? Breathe deeply and think into your future, do you see yourself with someone eventually? Even if it's not in the time frame you were hoping for?
it's very well possible I'll be alone for a very, very, long time.
I was in this EXACT place several months ago. I went sobbing into my IC's office with this whole idea about how I won't be open to the idea of dating post S or D for a while and then I'll be stuck in Chicago where I am now for a while before I eventually move back down South and so I can't meet anyone in Chicago because that makes no sense to get attached and on and on about this formula that resulted in the conclusion that I would be alone for an eternity. She calmed me down and said "is it possible that the best time to find love is when you meet someone who you feel safe, and nurtured and comfortable with?"
Um..yes, yes IC it is.
"And is it possible to just let that happen and trust that it will happen at the right time?"
Um...yes. Now, all these months later and still no prospects, I'm certainly lonely at times but am very, very thankful for the "me" time it took to get to where I am now in my recovery. When I find someone and he finds me, it will be worth the wait because I'll be healthier and able to be in a healthy relationship, whereas in the past I wasn't.
I can't be comfortable with that. And I really do want to be. I want to be the type that says, "I'm enjoying life just for me!"
Can't...or won't? Is it possible to look at this as a choice? I know it's so early in the process and the pain is so terrible, but it does get better, you will feel better...you just have to let yourself feel better. (That could sound infuriating if you're in a lot of pain right now, I get it, I was there too, it comes together eventually. It really does)
Hugs to you, keep posting and reading, it really helps!