Sometimes life gives you lemons but i have gold spray paint.
I dont have any advice...just that you arent alone.
at night I can't help but to dwell on what she did and completely break down.
I knew this process was going to be hard but had no idea just how hard. She has also been doing research on how to help us heal. Most of the time she reads or understand things differently than I do. Truth is I don't know who's right. I don't know what I need to heal. I don't know how. I have never felt this kind of pain and at times its overwhelming. I guess I just need to take it day at a time while keeping the future I/we want. That is very hard to do when there is no finish line in sight.
Again thank you all for taking time out of your day to help others.
Just keep putting one step in front of the next. If you're serious about R, you may need to establish some bottom lines and boundaries with her. Things you need and require in order to move forward with true R.
[This message edited by Theradin at 8:28 PM, April 29th (Monday)]
Seems to me that many people go through a stage a couple of weeks out when they think "Hey, I can DO this, I can forgive my WS", only to find a couple of weeks later that it is sooo much harder than they thought. It happened to me.
Also, you may find that almost on a daily basis, for quite some time, you decide to R, to separate, to R, to D.... you feel quite crazy with indecision. That's normal. I'm more than 8 months out and I STILL have no idea what my final outcome is going to be. Lots of long-time SIers suggest giving it a year before making a decision - I think that's good advice.
Just remember, you have been through a MAJOR trauma. Some are even diagnosed with PTSD after going through what we are going through. Be gentle with yourself, and most importantly accept that this takes TIME to work through.
How can I heal if I don''t know what I''m healing from?
[This message edited by Knowing at 4:07 AM, April 30th, 2013 (Tuesday)]
We are in R.