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He's coming to my IC with me..What the heck am I thinking!

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torn2bits posted 4/29/2013 19:49 PM

My SAWH is coming to my IC. He saw her alone and he confessed things that he never did to me.

What the heck should we talk about?

Nature_Girl posted 4/29/2013 20:34 PM


roughroadahead posted 4/29/2013 20:38 PM

I'm confused. Whywould your IC see him alone? Isn't that frowned upon?

What purpose does your IC think this serves? Is this supposed to be about R, about what? Remember, you don't have to agree to anything just because your IC says so.

torn2bits posted 4/29/2013 20:58 PM

Later this week.

She wanted to meet him alone and with me because I told her that he acts differently when I am there.

I wanted her to know what he's like, how he communicates with me. I think she will be able to work with me better if she meets him.

I don't know what we will talk about. He still denies the PA. She told her he loves me, sees a future with me, is still attracted to me and never wanted any of this (divorce).

Holly-Isis posted 4/29/2013 21:23 PM

Then she must also be able to tell him if he didn't want the D, he should've made different choices. Even now, he should make better choices.

Starting with being honest and transparent with you, rather than your IC.

I hope this isn't an ambush where he dumps all his "confession" on you with your IC as a guide. I have a friend that's still traumatized by that a few years after it happened.

torn2bits posted 4/30/2013 13:52 PM

HI, its been 3 long years. I am doing a lot of stuff on my own now. I will financially in trouble after we divorce, but can bounce back in a few years.

My IC did push him confess what he did; she told me. Its a long road with a depressed SA.

I am waffling about just moving on with my life. I have had many things including a 20 + year marriage, children. Some are still waiting to have kids and be married.

I am scared. I am scared that my decision to D will backfire, however I know there are no guarantees.

The day we go to IC is our wedding anniversary too!

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