180/NC was hard for me to settle into. I felt like my mind was torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to push her out of my life. It sucks at first. A lot. But it'll get easier with time, it's the sort of thing that needs practice and dedication. Commit yourself to NC, tell yourself not to waste any more time or energy on POS WH. Turn that attention to yourself and your kids. Reconnect with friends, pick up a new hobby, cross some things off your bucket list. Most of all, do it all without HIM.
I still have plenty of thoughts and urges regarding WXGF but they are weak whispers compared to what they used to be. Something that has helped me was to remind myself of what she did, what she put me through. Why would i want to sit and watch a movie with a woman who was fucking someone else? A woman cared so little for me that she thought it was OK to do that and then come home and ask to spend time together. Fuck that. I psych myself up with little "get mad" sessions, force myself to remember why we're in this situation in the first place. It gets easier every time and being able to redirect that energy into myself has done wonders for my recovery.
Keep it up. If you feel your resolve weakening just take a step back, post something on SI and we'll be here to help.
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
Together 5 years
3+ years later and I am doing great! Hell of a ride but well worth it.