My little girl is my everything. She loves her daddy more than she loves me it seems I don’t know how to handle her heartbreak. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated…
Now, even though FWH is here and we're in R, things are tense and hard, and it affects her sometimes. I just try to make her feel as special and important as I can. Life isn't going to go exactly how I want for her, and I need to be at peace with that.
You may find some specific and helpful advice about this in our D/S forum. There are a lot of wonderful people there who have been through this and are single parents who have learned how to help their kids through the process.
Sending you big hugs and strength.
Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16
I say it to both my children a lot. With my 5yo, I get completely down on his level and make it brief but make sure he's hearing me.
My wife is not from a broken family. She does not know the pain. We promised that when/if we had kids we would not do that to them. And then she sees Om. Bingo says A and here I am. My wife did not understand how I was more upset about her hurting the children. The first two nights after D-Day I paced the hall and would check in on my two every 5 to 10 minutes. To know that peace could be shattered.
In the fog, the WS don't see outside fantasy land. They don't see the broken home, possible STDs, the hurt they put you in or the kids. They see their own selfish needs.
That all brings us on what to do for Foolme1's little princess (all little girls are princesses). Some people say tell them truth. I don't think she will understand Divorce. My spouse said she would tell our girls she hurt Daddy so badly we could not live together anymore. Maybe that is a good answer... I am not sure. Certainty is not a thing I possess in any real quantity these days.
I think you need to take her away from what is going to be a great source of pain and be there for her, a lot. She needs to be affirmed that all this is not her fault. She needs to know she is loved and she needs to know you will not leave her like Daddy did. Then be prepared (I know, like we are prepared huh) for the innocent emotional distress she is about to endure. You can cope, even if on some basic level. She will be unable. She will have absolutely no experience to help her ease the pain, deflect the suffering or make sense of any of it. She will hurt... and she might just blame you for it. The only other thing I can tell you not to do is to use her as a tool for well or woe. Whatever is going to happen, she gets to keep her innocence as best you can to protect it. That is your job as a parent right now.
I am crying for your pain right now Foolme1, as I cry for mine.
"Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
My wife does the same with our son- he is a Mummy's Boy.
I know it's unfortunately not always possible but- if it is- try it.
Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.