I understand where you are coming from. I too have returned to the church after being away for over 25 years. I find that it gives me hope. I too pray every day for many things. I pray every morning that my BW has a good day and that the sting of my betrayal will not be as hurtful as the day before. I pray that our love will grow and when we get through this our relationship will be stronger than ever before and grounded in truth and compassion. I pray that I too will not fall back to my selfish ways of thinking.
I heard the song Lose My Soul by TobyMac this morning on the way to work.
"And I pray that I'm an artist who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love."
I think this is what we pray for.. We pray that we don't take the easy and selfish path. We want to live for others.
"I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul."
We see what happens to us when selfishness takes over. We see now the result of thinking only of ourselves causes us and those around us pain and we lose a true sense of who we are.
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.