The divorce wasn't my choice and after 4 years of "trying to work it out" my ex-WW wanted a divorce. We were separated for the required 1 year and formally divorced in December.
My kids have had a difficult time accepting that I am moving on with my life and have met someone who makes me very happy and have been seriously dating for 9 months. While they politely acknowledge her, they do not want anything to do with her voluntarily (talk of the phone with her, text her, etc...). Has this happened to anyone else?
If you aren't already, you may want to consider going to counseling with your kids to address their pain.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
Frankly, politely acknowledging her is the most you should hope for. If she isn't a complete asshole, maybe they will get to genuinely like her someday. The point is, though, that she is your girlfriend, not theirs.
[This message edited by h0peless at 2:11 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
I hope you spend time with them alone and she is not around all of the time. That is what they really need, time with you and not with you and your special relationship person.
Older kids have enough to deal with. It's a very difficult time for them. I think more difficult than younger children.
Honestly, why should they text her, talk to her on the phone, etc?
this was my question as well. One of them is technically an adult and the other is not far behind.
My husband's father just married his gf of 4 or 5 years. My husband has called/texted/voluntarily hung out with her exactly 0 times in all that time.
Sounds like they are handling another new, big, change very well, in my opinion.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
Would you expect the kids to bond with a friend who dropped by to hang out and watch a football game with you?
The best you can expect is possibly a very gradual friendship could develop. And that's honestly as it should be. She's not their mom, and you can't expect them to bond in that way with her. The relationship is between the two of you, it really has nothing to do with your kids. As long as everyone is polite to each other, you're good.
This is one of the rough parts of blending families, and it has nothing to do with the infidelity.
[This message edited by persevere at 4:25 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Was I meant to? oppppsss!
She is his wife... And has never made much effort with me.
I am a positive friendly person.... But don't feel the need to have an individual friendship with her.
Back off and leave the kids be. We have all seen here how WS expect young kids to accept an insta-family .. And how it causes resentment.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”