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Emotionless?

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changedibr posted 5/1/2013 17:04 PM

How to wake up? How to show you care? How to show you love your bs?

SuperDuperWonderboy posted 5/1/2013 17:43 PM

Well, have you asked your bs this? What did she say?

Do that.

Then read. Then do IC. Then read. Then do IC. Then try MC.

Then ask you BS again.

hardlessons posted 5/1/2013 17:50 PM

Why do you want to wake up?

Early in this process you find that love, feelings, thoughts come from wrong/bad places so step 1 is realizing that. Which is why I asked the question, why do YOU want to wake up?

floridaredman posted 5/1/2013 19:38 PM


How to show you care? How to show you love your bs?

Have you always had problems doing these before your affair?

changedibr posted 5/2/2013 03:35 AM

My wife wants me to wake up per say.

Yes I guess your right I should do what my bs says.

Before A I didn't have these problems.

floridaredman posted 5/2/2013 07:19 AM

A lot of times as WS's we rewrite marital history. We attach things to our spouses negatively to justify our infidelity.
I don't knowif you did this or not, but I did this with my wife. I made her into a monster when I was the one doing monstrous things.

Her love is shown by giving you a chance to reconcile. That's a gift..not a given.
It would be wise to see her for what she can show other than what you thought or felt she wasn't.

hardlessons posted 5/2/2013 10:34 AM

My wife wants me to wake up per say.

If you are doing this for anyone but yourself you wont wake up.

Yes I guess your right I should do what my bs says.

No one said that to you so where is that coming from? You obviously don't always do as your told so why would you now?

SandAway posted 5/2/2013 10:45 AM

Before A I didn't have these problems.

Really? That is because you were still living a lie and life was good for you.

You are coming and going so quick with questions and short responses and not really answering questions, just starting new threads.

You do know that there is no quick fix to all of this.

Does you wife know about SI?

BostonGirl posted 5/2/2013 11:12 AM

Read "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" by Patti Henry and "Why Can't I Get Through To You" by Terry Real. Those will get you started. Both of you should read them.

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