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H texting me...miss you already

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Sleepy312 posted 5/1/2013 20:13 PM

H left today for first business trip since D Day #2 about 5 weeks ago. He texted me before he left the office that he wished he was home already and missed me already.

He's never said anything like that before, and it just didn't sit well with me. Sometimes I feel like he's overcompensating for his royal fuck up, and sometimes I feel like he's still hiding something.

Also, he was texting me this morning that my new dresses looked nice. I went shopping yesterday because I have nothing to wear since I "look like a skeleton" according to H. He knows the insane weight loss is his fault because that's where D Day #2 started with me responding to him about breakfast that he was the reason I have no appetite.

How am I suppose to take these texts?

isadora posted 5/1/2013 20:30 PM

Take for what they are - pretty words. Actions actions actions.

What is he doing to make you feel safe.

housenotahome posted 5/1/2013 20:32 PM

You take them how ever you want to. You are not in a place where you can believe mere words and compliments do not sound genuine. All the ass kissing after dday is all well and good but he needs to back it up. Until he does, you will not be able to trust him. He has to accept that. Its going to take more than compliments and lots more time to make you feel better after a 2nd dday. Please take care of you. I know its hard.

Sleepy312 posted 5/1/2013 20:39 PM

It's d day 2 for the same girl. I say girl because she was 23 at the time and idiot H denied all physical stuff until last month although I suspected it. He went out to lunch with her last year when he was in LA for work.

He thinks since its all in the past for him it should be for me also. It's not.

housenotahome posted 5/1/2013 21:28 PM

His past is your present. Don't let him use the past card. This new info just knocked you back to DDay. That means you BOTH get to go back to the starting line on the road to recovery if you choose. That means he has to leave his arrogance in the trash where it belongs. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Sleepy312 posted 5/1/2013 23:14 PM

Why do I feel like he is different? Is it because he is really intelligent ( yet common sense seems to escape him). Why do I not take the hard line with him?

At this point I feel like I don't really put up with shit yet I am totally getting walked on byte husband. Ugh. I'm clearly a mess.

housenotahome posted 5/2/2013 07:12 AM

What he is doing has nothing to do with intelligence, just arrogance. He may have no common sense, but what concerns me more is lack of common decency. Be gentle with yourself. The harder you get knocked down, the harder it is to get back up. You've gotten back up before and you will do it again. You're frozen and not ready to make the choice to leave or stay. Don't be so hard on yourself. A lot of us are stuck. His actions do not reflect on you. They don't make you less of a person. Staying doesn't mean you condone his behavior. Please 180 for your sake. When done the right way, it doesn't make you mean, it strengthens you.

[This message edited by housenotahome at 7:14 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]

NeverAgain2013 posted 5/2/2013 10:56 AM

Meh..gratuitous complements are free and take very little effort to type into a phone keyboard and hit 'send.'

As another poster said, his ACTIONS are what matter, not his pretty, EMPTY words.

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