That being said, he has known since Jan 1 that he was going to have our children for 4 weeks total in the summer. Today is last day to "claim" the weeks and he is such a baby he doesn't want to tell me what weeks he's getting the children. He has thrown everything at me, including he wants to go for full custody. I laugh bc he has chosen 0 weeks for summer, but wants full custody. What a joke.
Also, when he has the children he is too preoccupied with texting his GF that kids are kinda on their own. He only has hot dogs to feed them, and he always brings them home late from visitation.
I took my counselor's advice: There need to be stark differences between the homes so that my children will SEE the best place for them is with me!
Anyway, what I figured out today is that he wants us to fight about inhalers, choosing weeks, feeding hot dogs or not feeding them. Because if we are fighting over all this stuff, we are not fighting over the REAL issue: They have a girlfriend and left their family.
So,,, today when he kept throwing one thing after another at me thru email, I simply said, "If you have a problem with visitation, consult your atty. I only need to know the dates you are having our children."
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 9:28 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
I think you should plan ahead when you know you will see WS and tell yourself how you will behave. You know him, practice some scenerios, and play them out in your head. If you dont like your initial response, do a do over till you get it right. That way by the time you see him you will be prepared for him and his responses, and you will have no regrets. He has hurt you enough, dont let him do that to you anymore.
Sounds like he wants to push your buttons, but why can be many reasons.
Dont let him get to you. Chances are the more you react, the more he will do it.
And remember, if you dont get it right, and your not happy with what you said or did, there is always tomorrow to start over and get it right.
Make yourself promises, then try to follow them. As you get better at living up to your expectations of yourself, you will feel better and more in control.
Take away his power to get to you, you can do it. Big hugs!!!
[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 10:28 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
The guy breaks up your home by deserting his family and moving out and his OH SO BIG contribution to spending time with his kid is a whopping 1.5 hours on a school night????
And in that 1.5 hours, this irresponsible assclown couldn't even FEED the kid he so easily deserted?
I can only HOPE AND PRAY that you've been to Child Welfare Services and have opened the biggest child support claim you can OPEN on this worthless bastard.
Please tell me you did????
I finally had to get my lawyer involved by asking STBX's lawyer to tell his client to be a more attentive father during his time with them. It was becoming a safety issue. Kids going hungry for 1.5 or 2 hours isn't going to kill them. They can eat when they get home (which is what STBX would tell the kids when they told him they were hungry).