It's difficult to r when she doesn't see any of her past or current actions as damaging. She acknowledges them but there isnt true remorse in my eyes.
Its not difficult it is literally, figuratively, and physically impossible to Reconcile if only one person is actually trying to work things out.
A reconciliation is not 'I will do all the work, you just stand there and look pretty'
If she is refusing to see her behavior has not been damaging to you and the relationship, then she is basically refusing to be in a committed, healthy, trustful relationship with you.
You may want to work on the marriage and make it right, but until she comes around, all you are is in limbo land - and that is a very rough place to be. There are many here that are, and they will tell you the same.
Sh needs to be transparent (as do you), she needs to go to IC and MC, there needs to be much conversation about how you both got to where you got and it needs to be honest.
Do not let her get away with what she did, and dont yourself minimize what you did....Work on yourself to become a better person.
[This message edited by Undefinabl3 at 12:51 PM, May 3rd (Friday)]