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recent move more hurt

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lostintally5581 posted 5/2/2013 16:11 PM

We move 3 weeks ago because WH got a promotion and transferred. So now we live 4 counties away from oompa loompa.....and while it's been great to not see her at the store or have to deal with her on the WH thinks I should be better because we moved...well news flash to him just because we moved doesn't mean he didn't cheat on me.we had to put mc on hold because his schedule changes every week now. I am just sick of this's been almost 5 months since d day and while most days are good I still have my bad days and when they hit its an all time low!!! He still can't give me a valid reason as top why he cheated. And that hurts especially with begin in a new town with new people. I know no one do I know he won't cheat again?? I am just tired of this I don't deserve to be worried if my WH can keep it in his pants. I feel like I am just ready to throw in the towel and be done with this marriage.

OneFootForward posted 5/2/2013 16:18 PM

I said this on another thread, this trauma is like being shot. Then you are confronted by the shooter. Most people want to know why they were shot, others don't care they just want the bad guy punished and others want both.

I think after the A, the victim needs to know why? And the why needs to be more than I did it because you did not give me enough X. My WW thought I was not giving her enough attention/affection, quality time. I was not getting enough affirmation/sex. When I would do something for her, I would get "That is not my Love Language, so thanks but..." which makes what I did completely worthless. We may have been broken BUT I did not go out on a 4 month fling.

If it was me, I would get the truth or I would be gone.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. -- John 8:32

BaldwinBeauty59 posted 5/2/2013 17:01 PM

I can relate to you lostintally5581. We moved about six months ago to get away from A town and A job. My FHW and I had hoped that would be the magic pill and everything would go away.......surprise! The pain of betrayal and the depression jumped on the moving van and followed us here. At times he gets frustrated about it as he gave up a job that he loved in order to do this move to help me heal. It has made a difference but wasn't the cure all we had hoped for. He hates his new job and when we argue he throws up how he gave up his dream job to accommodate me and it didn't work. I remind him that he didn't get to keep his dream job because he fucked the company whore. At least he then has the good sense to apologize for getting frustrated and angry and acknowledges that it is his own fault. We are chugging along and it is getting better with time.

You will be leery of any females around your FWH for a long time and he should expect it. Mine gets aggravated with me about my jealousy but he understands where it is coming from and why. Your FWH has to continue to be patient and reassuring. Yes, he will get frustrated as he is only human but he should be willing to acknowledge that it is all his own fault that you are in this circumstance once he calms down. Please give yourselves more time to settle in as 3 weeks is still too early to tell how it will go. Be a little more patient with yourself and with him.

summerain posted 5/2/2013 17:02 PM

There is no valid reason

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