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Really good article about Secrecy and WS minimizing

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Betrayed67 posted 5/2/2013 18:07 PM

Thought I share this link to everyone here who is still getting their head around why WS minimizes their actions. I found this to be really enlightening.

http://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-the-secrecy-factor

Ashland13 posted 5/2/2013 19:22 PM

Thank you!

cheerless posted 5/2/2013 20:10 PM

Integrity is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will.

^That, & this:

Commitments are a big deal and the impact of infidelity is extreme. Integrity stays true to commitments even when no one is watching. If you believe that statement to be true but you’re someone who violates their beliefs, then you need to explore what rationalizations you’re using to violate your beliefs.

(I could really just cut & paste the whole thing!)

Thank you for sharing this, B67!

Betrayed67 posted 5/2/2013 20:14 PM

You are all welcome. This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!

cosmicjoke posted 5/2/2013 22:10 PM

Thank you B67. This is something we've all been struggling to describe to our SO's.. (it's sad that we should even have to!)... & Mr. Reynolds puts it into words so accurately.
Re- 'Secrecy plays a huge factor in the absence of guilt':
Yes obviously.. but there's more to it than that.... you also need an extreme lack of basic human empathy to have an absence of guilt (think serial killer). You view other people as just 'things' to be used for your own advantage. Plus sick people get a sick thrill in 'getting away with something'.. it gives them a high like a drug.

absolut posted 5/2/2013 23:38 PM

great article, thanks.

stilltrying2025 posted 5/3/2013 10:05 AM

What an awesome article. Thank you for sharing!

Sal1995 posted 5/3/2013 10:16 AM

This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!

And the article was written by a former WS, which gives it a little more weight IMO.

Ashland13 posted 5/3/2013 13:37 PM

I think of secrecy also as a controlling device.???

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