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User
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Topic: Really good article about Secrecy and WS minimizing
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Betrayed67
♀ 38134
Member # 38134 |  Posted: 6:07 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 |     |
Thought I share this link to everyone here who is still getting their head around why WS minimizes their actions. I found this to be really enlightening.
http://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/betrayal-the-secrecy-factor
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand |
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378 | | Posted: 7:22 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Thank you!
Ashland 13
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
Posts: 2463 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England |
cheerless
♀ 38135
Member # 38135 | | Posted: 8:10 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Integrity is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will.
^That, & this:
Commitments are a big deal and the impact of infidelity is extreme. Integrity stays true to commitments even when no one is watching. If you believe that statement to be true but you’re someone who violates their beliefs, then you need to explore what rationalizations you’re using to violate your beliefs.
(I could really just cut & paste the whole thing!)
Thank you for sharing this, B67!
♪I'm not fine; I'm in pain
It's harder every day ~ Maroon 5♫
BS:45 WH:47 needhelp123
8yr EA&PA w/MCOW emp/frmr emp
19y M * 25y T, 2 teens
DDay 12/31/12*5w TT
Sick tired sad
Posts: 273 | Registered: Jan 2013 |
Betrayed67
♀ 38134
Member # 38134 | | Posted: 8:14 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 | |
You are all welcome. This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand |
cosmicjoke
♀ 39159
Member # 39159 | | Posted: 10:10 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Thank you B67. This is something we've all been struggling to describe to our SO's.. (it's sad that we should even have to!)... & Mr. Reynolds puts it into words so accurately.
Re- 'Secrecy plays a huge factor in the absence of guilt':
Yes obviously.. but there's more to it than that.... you also need an extreme lack of basic human empathy to have an absence of guilt (think serial killer). You view other people as just 'things' to be used for your own advantage. Plus sick people get a sick thrill in 'getting away with something'.. it gives them a high like a drug.
Posts: 344 | Registered: May 2013 |
absolut
♀ 37933
Member # 37933 | | Posted: 11:38 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013 | |
great article, thanks.
Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012 |
stilltrying2025
♀ 39145
Member # 39145 | | Posted: 10:05 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013 | |
What an awesome article. Thank you for sharing!
Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated
Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Minnesota |
Sal1995
♂ 39099
Member # 39099 | | Posted: 10:16 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013 | |
This article just explains a lot of my WS behavior. The author was describing my WS to a T!
And the article was written by a former WS, which gives it a little more weight IMO.
Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling
Posts: 1528 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas |
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378 | | Posted: 1:37 PM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013 | |
I think of secrecy also as a controlling device.???
Ashland 13
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
Posts: 2463 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England |
| Topic Posts: 9 | |
