After two months and 12 unbearable days full of pain and anger, I felt incredibly sad today.
My WW spent the two months the same way, angry, on the defensive and hurt.
Despite all that she came to MC with me. I kept being told that should make me hopeful, but it didn't.
Today, she also felt incredibly sad. And showed it. I needed that.
I'm going away for the weekend for work and on the advice of the books we have read and MC she is joining me tomorrow night after she finishes work.
Was it the separation? I don't know.
For the first time I felt that I could do this, because losing her would hurt more than living with the betrayal.
I am taking anti-depressants, which help dull the pain.
We dropped off the cat at her parents last night and for some reason, while I was getting ready to travel and she was at work, I missed the cat. Then my WW. I walked out to meet her on her walk home before my flight. For the first time she seemed genuinely sad about what we have lost. It was a long betrayal. Nine months. Then she broke NC twice, both times phone calls. They still work together, but she tells me she rarely sees him at work and they are in different departments.
I don't want her to give up her job, it's her dream job. The week we met 12 years ago she told me that was what she wanted. She started it a year ago. Yes, the cheating started shortly after.
For the veterans here. Am I stupid to feel hopeful and start letting my guard down or am I setting myself up for more pain?