The last you heard from me, I was going on a "first date" with a guy that I'd been shooting pool with for months. First date was awesome, followed by more dates and he hasn't raised one red flag with me yet. Whew! So, we are seeing each other - a lot - and still shooting pool in the same tourneys. I beat him both Tuesday and Wednesday night and he's still speaking to me. He's a big biker teddy bear, and he also cooks and I caught him doing the dishes the other night. WooHoo!
On a more somber note, my dad had surgery last Friday on two tumors. One on his left elbow (huge), and one in his left armpit (huger). We go back to the doc tomorrow for the pathology reports from the armpit thing - it was a lymph node and it was grapefruit-sized. I'm not feeling too good about this situation, but I'll prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I could use a little SI mojo for my dad.
I'll check in when I can. I hope everything is going well for y'all.....I'm doing okay with the stress level (teddy bear biker guy is helping a LOT), but I'm pretty worried about my dad.
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. -Reinhold Neibuhr
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62 Him: WXH-62 D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI) S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
And---so glad to hear about your biker-bear! Sounds like lots of fun! Yea for you!!
I'll keep your dad in my thoughts... Fingers crossed!
WB
James Taylor
So glad your teddy bear biker guy is there for you during this time with your dad. Positive mojo for your dad. Keep us updated.
DDay:2011 Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. - J. K. Rowling
I'll be keeping your poppa in my thoughts. My friends dad had a large mass removed from his neck a little over a year ago. The treatment(surgery, chemo, radiation) was really agressive. My thoughts are with you and your family throughout this. please keep us updated.
also sending you lots of hugs!
you is kind, you is smart, you is important
Knowing my dad, he's going to refuse treatment and go for quality over quantity. If I were in his shoes, that would be my decision. I have a feeling he wouldn't survive chemo anyway, and it would make him miserable.
So, I'm gonna be MIA for a while. I'll check in when I can.
My teddy-bear biker guy has been my rock. We haven't been together very long, but he has stepped up to the plate in a big way. My dad is a big man, and my bear has been helping lift him and get him in & out of the car for medical appts. He's been pitching in around here like crazy....doing laundry, cooking, the whole nine yards. From his actions, I think this dude is on board for the long haul. If I wasn't so stressed about my dad, I'd be doing backflips! We just seem to "fit", ya know?
I think I finally found a real man, with a big heart wandering around loose (and single) in the wilds of Colorado. Who woulda thunk it???
I'm aware that starting a new relationship during a very stressful time isn't ideal - and I've talked to my bear about that - but we communicate very well and that seems to be working in our favor. I think he's one of those guys that doesn't need to be the center of my attention 24/7, and that's a refreshing change for me.
When I hear him pull up on that bike, I get a big smile on my face and my heart feels happy, and I know I'm gonna get a big ol' bear hug.
As for starting a relationship with all of this craziness, I've been there, done that w my SO. We had only gotten serious (exclusive, ILU, meet kids) for about a month or so before his father was diagnosed w gall bladder cancer. And while his life (our lives) were put on hold for over a year, it did bring us much closer. Try, try, try to nurture yourself/yourselves through this and keep up with the communication.
If it were me at 85 with that diagnosis I think I would take myself off to the most beautiful place I could find and go into hospice.
Big huge hugs.
I really think that will be my dad's choice, and I will fully support that choice. Luckily, we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and this ranch has been my dad's slice of heaven for almost his entire life. I am going to bust my butt to keep my parents in their own home through all this. We have a wonderful Hospice program here, and I'm praying that he can end his days in his own bed surrounded by our tight little family.
These circumstances have kind of put my relationship with my bear on a fast-forward. Faster than I'd normally be comfortable with. But, I need help. There, I admit it. His place is about 20 miles away, so he's been staying here so he can provide some muscle and moral support (and I've been needing a lot of both) He brought his dog, and enough stuff to be comfortable, and he jumps in and actually looksfor ways he can help. WTF? I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.
I've known this man since last fall when he first moved back here. He and my grandson were buddies (shooting pool) for quite a while before he ever asked me out. I think my grandson might have even given the Bear a "heads-up" to ask me out because I know I was giving off non-dating vibes.
So....stay tuned. I really appreciate all the good mojo from my SI peeps. My dad has always been my rock in life. Maybe since I'm losing him, the universe decided to bring me a new rock. Bittersweet is a very good description.
I'm going to take millionpieces' advice to heart and make sure I take a mental break from illness to focus on my own stuff every day. Create a little bubble to enjoy the beauty around me, and a wonderful man.
Now, if I can find time to ride my motorcycle, my sanity just might survive.
