Rearrange the furniture. Switch bedrooms. Paint. Frame photographs.
Through this process you will be so busy you won't have time to be lonely or miss him. And you will end up with a brand-new "looking" house without spending much money.
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE him.
OC born 2001
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)
This site has helped me tremendously and I love it. I read these posts just to make sense of the senseless, and also to help time pass.
Remember, God never gives us more than we can handle. But He cannot stop us from searching for more hurt. That is on us. Prayers to you. You will get through this - and so will I.
It's tough, I'll agree. I don't have children, and I'm 5 years out, but I can tell you that it gets better.
The best thing about my living situation is the dogs. Whenever I come home, a party breaks out. They are so happy to see me that it makes me feel good.
Create a new life for yourself. What did you always want to do, but never had time? I spend a lot of time in the yard, reading, or walking the dogs. I work a lot also-I figure I might as well use my boredom to advance my career.
Try to stay busy. It helps..
I keep telling myself that I have to learn to be alone and be enough to me but does anyone really can do that? I mean, I look at really young children and even animals, they can't rationalize things and they all want company and companionship so I believe this is our nature. I see people staying in bad relationships all the time (I've been there) and that's because it is hard to be alone. I admire people that can do it and I wish I could learn.
I know with time you will find a new routine without him, with friends and things to do that will fill out this gap. It might take time but like I said I've been there and things do get better.
Allow yourself some time to grief and learn a new routine without him.
You just had all your dream and security crashed, everything is new and it needs to be adjusted and it takes some time but it will get better.
Part of my problem is that I don't have a lot of friends. I have devoted my life to my children ,husband and our business. That's my fault. Lost sight of me. I guess it's time to rediscover me
Same here, and I spent all of my adult life (from 19 to almost 49) married and being cheated on.
Finding yourself is a process, not an event. Some days will be overwhelming, others will be too wonderful for words. If you feel like you really can't snap out of it, and AFTER you've done all of the natural remedies (getting sunshine, exercising, eating right) and still find yourself too depressed to function, please see your doctor about it.
I'm living alone for the first time in my life and I'm loving it. I can't say that it wouldn't be wonderful to have one of the kids walk through and leave their glass on the table, but I'm pretty sure that I cannot ever go back to that either.
Keep coming here. Read and post all you want. We all understand. <hugs>
I guess it's time to rediscover me
Can I suggest you taking a peek down in New Beginnings? It's all about discovering yourself and starting the journey of your new life.
Some people there are dating, but plenty are focused on going back to school, taking up hobbies, making new friends, changing careers, and yes, reclaiming their homes.
And, by the way, it's ok to sit with pity now and then. Just don't linger too long, ok?
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Horses are so good for the soul. And with spring coming on (maybe..we had snow this AM ) you will have lots of time to spend.
Get involved with a riding club. Go on trail rides. Maybe show a little.
Lost sight of me. I guess it's time to rediscover me
Me too...you are doing great for so early on...try to hang in there with school...I understand that struggle...I admire you for not caving in and separating...in the long run it will help your situation...he knows you won't stay with an unfaithful partner...the fog will lift sooner and one way or the other you will get through this fast....strength to you.
I hate the thoughts of a lonely house. I feel for you. It is not easy.
Yep, this is me, too.For a long time, hearing the door shut behind DD as they went on their happy visits or hearing STBXHs vehicles go, were massive triggers for me.
Doing the changes to your house will help over time, in my opinion and have helped me.
When I read about the dogs I smiled-thanks-as I have a little elder cat who greets me happily when I return and sits with me the entire time I'm home. She hasn't once rejected me and though I don't enjoy the chores from a pet, there is nothing like their company. And the arguing is pleasant!
One thing I do now that is therapeutic is to call it "MY" house, because in all reality, it is! And so is yours!
There are some things that are okay about being alone and though it's not easy, it gets better. I too lived solely for my marriage and daughter, so I don't even really know myself as a single person anymore.
One thing I do besides the in-house changes mentioned on your thread, is I make myself get up and go out whenever it strikes me, when DD is out visiting. Even if I simply walk a track or the mall, I can say to myself later that I had the freedom for absolutely anything I wanted. There is peace in that.
I also leave the tv on or play the radio constantly, so the silence isn't so defeaning. Ever so slowly, I find being alone isn't all that bad, for it's only myself to argue! I can be sloppy and could not before, I can leave doors open I didn't before, I can do whatever the he..I want!
Now I like to play the music really loud or put a movie on and turn up the base really loud and there's no one around for a few acres to complain!
Maybe once you find some things you like and a routine, I bet it will slowly change to being ok. Another thing is that inviting over the few people I know, also helps make it mine. DD has many friends, so I am trying to let her invite more of them over and fill up the house with kids some days. The noise is good and they keep each other busy, though they frown when I do the Wii Dance (lol)with them! They tell me, "It's time for snack!"
I finally have a dream again for the house if we got to stay, and it's to make a hang out room for them in the basement somehow, as they are rapidly approaching "tween age"(money!) so that it will keep being a house they want to "hang out" at. .
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.