HI Savvy and Everyone,
Yep, this is me, too.For a long time, hearing the door shut behind DD as they went on their happy visits or hearing STBXHs vehicles go, were massive triggers for me.
Doing the changes to your house will help over time, in my opinion and have helped me.
When I read about the dogs I smiled-thanks-as I have a little elder cat who greets me happily when I return and sits with me the entire time I'm home. She hasn't once rejected me and though I don't enjoy the chores from a pet, there is nothing like their company. And the arguing is pleasant!
One thing I do now that is therapeutic is to call it "MY" house, because in all reality, it is! And so is yours!
There are some things that are okay about being alone and though it's not easy, it gets better. I too lived solely for my marriage and daughter, so I don't even really know myself as a single person anymore.
One thing I do besides the in-house changes mentioned on your thread, is I make myself get up and go out whenever it strikes me, when DD is out visiting. Even if I simply walk a track or the mall, I can say to myself later that I had the freedom for absolutely anything I wanted. There is peace in that.
I also leave the tv on or play the radio constantly, so the silence isn't so defeaning. Ever so slowly, I find being alone isn't all that bad, for it's only myself to argue! I can be sloppy and could not before, I can leave doors open I didn't before, I can do whatever the he..I want!
Now I like to play the music really loud or put a movie on and turn up the base really loud and there's no one around for a few acres to complain!
Maybe once you find some things you like and a routine, I bet it will slowly change to being ok. Another thing is that inviting over the few people I know, also helps make it mine. DD has many friends, so I am trying to let her invite more of them over and fill up the house with kids some days. The noise is good and they keep each other busy, though they frown when I do the Wii Dance (lol)with them! They tell me, "It's time for snack!"
I finally have a dream again for the house if we got to stay, and it's to make a hang out room for them in the basement somehow, as they are rapidly approaching "tween age"(money!) so that it will keep being a house they want to "hang out" at. .