I am so sorry you are here. Definitely read the Healing Library, there is a lot of great advice in there.
Right now I think you need to be honest with her. You were the one who was betrayed, you need to be able to express your feelings.
If she is truly wanting to move on with the marriage then she needs to be able to support you, no matter how uncomfortable it makes her feel.
It is said that it takes 2-5 years to fully recover from infidelity. Is she willing to put in that time and effort? Are you willing to stay with a woman who won't let you discuss your hurt, anger, and frustration with a situation that she is the cause of?
Just remember, you do not have to make any decisions right away. Your world has been blown apart. It is okay to take your time in figuring out what you want to do. When I discovered my WH's A's, I agreed to stick around for a year to see if I was able to recover my love for him and try to repair our marriage.
It isn't easy. It has been a very rough road, but my WH seems to have finally gotten it and is putting in 110% effort into fixing the damage he has caused. Do you think your W is ready to do that?
ETA: Are you two in MC (marriage counseling)? How about IC (individual counseling) for yourself?
[This message edited by dameia at 1:14 PM, May 3rd (Friday)]
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.