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Joanh (original poster member #39146) posted at 9:32 PM on Friday, May 3rd, 2013
How to make them easier. Bad 2 days and today, trying to stay strong for him , but its hard not to cry myself . I can see the pain I've caused feel it to my soul, what is left of it. He says he wants me to be strong and not react to his bad days. How do I . Ifeel I have to shut down and feel nothing. :-( its hard to do . I don't like to be that away anymore. Sorry just needed a place to speak.
BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 12:54 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
I know that when I triggered, it made it worse when my wife made it about her. All I really needed to do was share what I was feeling, deal with it, and move on. We went through a phase where everything I shared sent her off the edge, so that made it so I couldn't deal with what I needed to. It made me stop sharing until we worked it out in MC.
It gets better with time 
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 4:51 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
BH just wants me to be present and sometime to hold his hand. I apologize, sometimes that seems to help. I try to understand his feelings. I think he appreciates when I anticipate triggers and warn him.
Sending strength and peace.
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
BrokenT ( new member #39056) posted at 10:14 AM on Saturday, May 4th, 2013
I would be able to deal with triggers when my H becomes more supportive of them. They need to be let out no matter how negative they may seem. If my H lets me talk without getting defensive I know it'll pass. Let him know you're there to hear him, appreciate and validate his feelings, tell him things like "I know" and "I'll never hurt you like this again".. Honestly I trigger every hour and don't know when the end is but I'm just sharing my feelings about them.. 
BW 27
WH 33
Real Dday: May 22nd, 2013
Joanh (original poster member #39146) posted at 2:15 AM on Sunday, May 5th, 2013
Thank you for your responses. I sit and litsten and think to myself what can I do to change. I apoligize and try to see what I can do different to help. one is the cell phone. He text me while i was doing my nails and didn't answer:-( Major trigger. thats what happened when he found out. Also we were doing the 5 love by chapman and he was doing the quiz and it had one about back massage. He saw me giving the other man a back massage:-( I hate this. I cant stand to see what I have done to my BH. But I know that I am doing everything I can to make sure it never happens again. That is a promise
BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....
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