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Stuff that normally wouldn't bother me

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rachelc posted 5/3/2013 20:31 PM

I found out from BFF number 1 that BFF number 2 is thinking if starting up a hot yoga studio... So I'm a little peeved she hasn't told me but I laugh and send her a text "hey, I wanna hear all about your new business plan ". She says yes ill tell you about it! Then i text hubby and say "guess who's starting a hit yoga studio?" No reply. He gets home and says hey I got your text but I already knew that. She came to the bank and talked to one of my guys about a month ago.

So, he's known about this for a month and has asked me several times if he thought hot yoga was trendy and if I thought it would last, all because he wanted to know if his business should fund one of my BFF's business. And I knew nothing..,

I feel betrayed. I cried. I said its like I'm the last one in one a secret. Two people I love know something I don't know, together .. They both have reasons to keep this from me- she doesn't know if it'll fly, he has to protect his customers confidentiality, although he tells me EVERYTHING! About who is filing bankruptcy, etc.

Two years ago I could have cared less. Now, I feel that he had a secret and he used me for information...

This stuff fucks up thinking.

jjsr posted 5/3/2013 20:39 PM

Yes it does. Its horrible that I always question what he is saying. I don't always question out loud but I do question.

Jrazz posted 5/4/2013 00:50 AM

I would consider this a betrayal. You're supposed to be a team first.

I think they both put you in a bad situation here. Can't he see that?


sisoon posted 5/4/2013 15:14 PM

The fact that your H tells you about the bank's customers' personal business is a big problem. He simply shouldn't be doing that. It's probably a symptom of lousy boundaries, and he needs to change that.

It would have been honest for him to say he's got a request for a loan for a new hot yoga business and ask your opinion on it. But he seems to have lousy boundaries, and not saying things that should be said could be part of that....

For me, I'd be upset with some friends if they didn't tell me about their biz plans. Others, not so much.

Sorry this BFF kept you in the dark.

[This message edited by sisoon at 3:16 PM, May 4th (Saturday)]

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