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Newest Member: roadrunner04 (61465)

User Topic: Stuff that normally wouldn't bother me
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out from BFF number 1 that BFF number 2 is thinking if starting up a hot yoga studio... So I'm a little peeved she hasn't told me but I laugh and send her a text "hey, I wanna hear all about your new business plan ". She says yes ill tell you about it! Then i text hubby and say "guess who's starting a hit yoga studio?" No reply. He gets home and says hey I got your text but I already knew that. She came to the bank and talked to one of my guys about a month ago.

So, he's known about this for a month and has asked me several times if he thought hot yoga was trendy and if I thought it would last, all because he wanted to know if his business should fund one of my BFF's business. And I knew nothing..,

I feel betrayed. I cried. I said its like I'm the last one in one a secret. Two people I love know something I don't know, together .. They both have reasons to keep this from me- she doesn't know if it'll fly, he has to protect his customers confidentiality, although he tells me EVERYTHING! About who is filing bankruptcy, etc.

Two years ago I could have cared less. Now, I feel that he had a secret and he used me for information...

This stuff fucks up thinking.

Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes it does. Its horrible that I always question what he is saying. I don't always question out loud but I do question.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would consider this a betrayal. You're supposed to be a team first.

I think they both put you in a bad situation here. Can't he see that?


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that your H tells you about the bank's customers' personal business is a big problem. He simply shouldn't be doing that. It's probably a symptom of lousy boundaries, and he needs to change that.

It would have been honest for him to say he's got a request for a loan for a new hot yoga business and ask your opinion on it. But he seems to have lousy boundaries, and not saying things that should be said could be part of that....

For me, I'd be upset with some friends if they didn't tell me about their biz plans. Others, not so much.

Sorry this BFF kept you in the dark.

[This message edited by sisoon at 3:16 PM, May 4th (Saturday)]

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16782 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 4

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