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Newest Member: OneLittleVictory (61821)

User Topic: Online Affairs
Member # 39174
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out a week ago that my partner of 13 years, husband of 5, had been involved in an online affair for the past month. They also let their interactions move on to texting. They both seemed really lonely, and told each other about their day, what they were eating for dinner, and always "i love you, miss you". When I discovered this secret relationship of his, I saw the last week of messages between them. He was writing to her when he was with our family, eating dinner with us, etc. He actually wrote"i love you, you are my everything" while we eating dinner that day. I know that many people say that there are problems withing our relationship to make a person want to partake in this type of emotional relationship. He said that he just liked the way that he felt when someone was giving him praise, commenting on his music, etc. I did nothing wrong! We have a 14 month old son, and I'm pregnant! Yup! Pregnant. I'm 3 months along.

Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 39169
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm right there with you. My husband was texting and exchanging pics/videos with these many women around the clock every day for months. It is staggering that he could walk around like our lives were normal - driving the kids, eating family dinner etc all while being obsessed with other women. Hugs to you. I still can't function.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

Posts: 984 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I found out, I was pregnant and we had an 11 month old. Make sure you eat, drink and sleep. Those things can be tough and are extra important for you now. This is NOT your fault. Even if there were problems in your relationship, he made the choice to go to someone outside of your relationship to get validation instead of coming to you.
I hope that this really is the whole story, but prepare yourself for the possibility that there may be much more that you don't yet know. The healing library is in the yellow box in the upper left corner. There is so much good and helpful information there. Hugs to you as you start the long and rocky road than infidelity causes. You've come to a good place. May you find the help and support you will surely need.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 29130
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every M has problems, issues, poor communication, stresses, hurts.

Not every one chooses to cheat. Some M are really dysfunctional but there is never a good reason to cheat.

The cheating is not about you, it's not your fault. Your WH is broken and this is how he chose to cope.

Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.

Posts: 4722 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Topic Posts: 4

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