Okay...I had a few decent days.
This morning started out good. I snuggled with my wife as she woke (I had been up for hours, but came back to snuggle). Was a nice way to start the day.
Today my wife had a work appointment in a different town and I am to man her store front in our town.
Wife left for appointment, I went to the store. It was set up for the event today. I noticed a small gift bag with a customers name on it. The office was spotless so this giftbag was prominently displayed on the corner of a table. I remembered that my wife waited around her store for a customer to show up yesterday...but the customer never did. I thought maybe I was supposed to be ready for the customer to show up today....but my wife did not say anything about that. So I looked next to the package for a little more instruction and saw a note with the same customers name and phone number on it. I read below the phone number and the note read "High heels, trench coat, tying up".
I went from feeling okay to a deep sadness. (not anger for a change ). This is one of the items she and the OM discussed as turn ons. I wondered if, while my wife was waiting for this customer she started to doodle on the paper and wrote down what she was thinking...thinking sexual thoughts about the OM.
I resisted the urge to call my wife and ask her about this note. I then picked up my cell phone and saw I missed a call from my wife. NOTE: for some reason my wife and I cell phones stopped texting each other mid-day yesterday.
Torn between risking where our conversation would go and missing a detail about todays schedule I decided to call my wife...thinking I could and should just let this go.ife answered...everything was okay...she just had some last minute tips for me to do at the store today.
Then I did it....I asked her about the customer package, then the note I read.
I wont say she got really defensive but did ask if I were snooping around her store for clues to the A. She said it was okay if I did, she just wanted me to tell her the truth. The truth is I was NOT when I found the note...but that I had a strong urge to when i read the note. I told her that. She told me that note, complete with customer name, was written months ago. She had used that paper to take notes during one of our A discussions. Given her type of work this is likely.
She then asked what I was needing.
I have been pressing her to tell the truth so it was my turn.
I told her when I read the part of the note that pertained to the A that yes, I triggered and did indeed have the urge to search for more clues. My needs are the same...I have a need to feel safe and secure, that somehow she will not bring the hurt into our marriage again.
Anyone have any tips on how to handle this type of situation better then we are doing?
Any insight into what transpired today?
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:57 AM, May 4th (Saturday)]