I "kind of" confronted him this morning....through text. I don't even care. I told him I know he has been up to no good, "studying" wiht another girl under the guise of studying, and he was free to do whatever the hell he wants as was I. he respnoded with some crap of "I was studying, blah blah blah" and he promises things will go back to normal after finals. I told him basically to screw himself, that I now he's been unfaithful, only God knows how long he's gotten away with it, he opened the door, and she is eagerly accepting the invitation. I told him cut the crap, and for ONCE be honest. I told him this was my dealbreaker, and its a risk he took and lost. Of course, he responded, begging me to belive him, that he is not cheating. I choose to ignore. I will not be home today. I do not want to see him. I will gladly tell him I saw the texts, he can get pissed all he wants, I don't even give a shit anymore. I will show him the pictures of the texts that I have.
I am so fucking livid right now.
I will gladly tell him I saw the texts, he can get pissed all he wants
If he doesn't know you are snooping around with his phone, then IMO let it be. Don't tell him. You'll discover more defence texts from them. Their plan, whether they have taken it underground etc.
He is begging me to believe him. I am ignoring all of his texts...
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
You seem like a hard working, independent woman. I know you are worried about your child, and I understand that she will be angry at you for a little while. But that is okay, she will be angry and you will let her express her anger in a safe and loving environment and she will never stop loving you. When she is older you may or may not choose to tell her what happened, and she will thank you for being a strong woman.
I know you are angry and that is a good thing. There may well be dark days, but you know you have done the right thing.
Keep the silence going. Stay strong.
Be strong! You are worth SO much more than this bull!
D-Day, June 10, 2012
A lot has happened since this morning. So, I have a hard time with confrontation I general. I break down, choke up, stutter, forget my train of thought, etc. so that was why I initially texted him.
After giving him crickets, he called me after a few hours. I ignored the call. I drove around with dd for awhile only because I did not want to be home...honestly, I was avoiding confrontation. My dd started crying that she wanted her daddy so, I took her home to spend time with her daddy. He was here, and wanted to know what was going on. I calmly and firmly told him that this was not a conversation that I was having in front of dd as she is very bright. I was only home for 30 mins. As I was leaving, I told dd to give her daddy a kiss and he immediately said "are you going to too?" I told him no. He then stated that I haven't told him that I love him in a week and he wantedto know if I did. I told him again, this was not a conversation I was having in front of dd. as I closed the door he told me he loved me.
So, I texted him. Just point blank asked him who ow was by name and told him don't lie cause I already know who she is. She's a classmate he said. So I called him out. Told him he can get pissed all he wants, but I have been checking his phone while he sleeps. I repeated every incriminating text word by word to him. Told him this crossed a boundary and was not something I would accept anymore. Long story short, he insists nothing happened. She's older than him, yes she flirts with him but his words were bullshit words. He would never hurt me on purpose etc. I told him I do not believe him. That not only has he betrayed me, but he's betrayed dd. he said he admits the texts look bad and that his responses were inappropriate, but he said he didn't delet anything bc he didn't think there was anything had to see. So then I asked him why he denies me. Denies my existence. Never got a response. He admitted other things that I never confronted him about. Like how people buy him gifts as a thank you for tutoring, etc.
I ended it by telling him I have no words for him. That I could spend hours going in circles asking why but in the end none of it mattered. That he knows what he's done was wrong. He now knows how I feel about it. And I'm not happy and cannot support him anymore through medical school (not financially, he has income from the military disability that he gives me). I told him I do not trust him and don't think I ever will and that it's not fair to either of us to stay in this relationship. He again replied with apologies.
He's flirtatious by nature. And I cannot be with a guy whose flirtatious. I just can't. I just came home. He's here. Stayed here all night hanging out with a friend. I'm just tired. I didn't acknowledge him or his friend. I'm just tired.
You sound amazing. You, I and all of us here can do without having to put up with this kind of shit from anyone!