Giving you her number is a positive sign, but unfortunately there are other ways they can communicate....office number, facebook, second cell phone, etc.
My concern for you is he is calling the shots for your life. I understand your D-day is recent, but I have seen too many times here where the BS tries to "nice" the spouse back into the marriage, in essence it generally has the opposite effect.
Show him you are strong no matter how weak you feel. Limit conversations to business, finances and children. Let him *see* that you WILL make it with or without him. Put yourself in the driver's seat in this situation...consult an attorney, not to file, but to show him you will not allow him to cake eat or play ping pong with your life.
I am at 8 years post D-Day, and I didn't find this site until about four years later. One of the things I did from day #1 (although my situation he dumped OW) was to let WH know in no uncertain terms it was my way or the highway. He did tt me to death, but everything else I requested was clean and crisp and he didn't flounder. He knew I meant business.
like it was on overload
^^Exactly what happens after D-Day. Not only do you have to think of everything else in your daily life, but this trauma is like carrying a backpack full of bricks, it weighs you down and sometimes you fall, sometimes you are numb, sometime you are in overdrive. What you are experiencing is very normal. Are you meeting with an IC?