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Now I have humiliated my BW

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thecaves posted 5/5/2013 01:28 AM

So it turns out that one of our friends did see the OW and I kissing at least once. My BW has not be humiliated once again because of my selfish actions and obvious stupidity.

I am planning to apologize to this friend tomorrow as I also feel my actions put them in a bad situation. Has anyone else done this? I'm sure it is something I should do and want to do. I owe it to them.

Jrazz posted 5/5/2013 01:34 AM

I think it's great that you want to try and make reparations for this. Most importantly, can you talk to your BW and find out what the least humiliating path out of this would be for her? I know that the trigger is going to be very painful for her, but approaching this as a team will make her feel like she has a little more control over the situation.

thecaves posted 5/5/2013 01:51 AM

Jrazz, i'm on the same page as you already.

She had a lengthy discussion tonight with the friend (who now knows of the affair). Because of this conversation, she is triggering and raging pretty bad tonight. She asked for space and that is what I am giving her. I did ask if she would discuss more in the morning and discuss me apologizing to our friend. I mostly want to make sure she is ok with it.

dindy posted 5/5/2013 13:25 PM

I definitely think it is a good idea that you want to make amends with your friend. And it sounds like you are really committed to R with your wife.

I can understand your wife triggering as my xWS never came clean and so far I have a picture of him and OW with their pants down kissing and fumbling somewhere and it's not a good image. Who knows who could have seen them, I'll never know.

Good luck with R.

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