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momofone79 posted 5/5/2013 08:33 AM

I don't know if anyone is up & reading this morning, but if you are, I could use some advice.

I have a gut feeling my WH (who is currently staying with his parents) is planning to move in with the OW once she gets her own place. He's too ashamed/scared to actually tell me this (he couldn't even tell me they met for lunch a couple weeks ago). But for my own sanity, I need to know whether he's going to do this. If I don't ask, I'm afraid I won't find out until after the fact. I also need to confirm that he's going to keep monetarily supporting me and our child, or we will won't be able to pay for our house & other bills.

So, basically, I need to confront him. The question is when. I could do it today. We're meeting to go to a financial responsibility class this afternoon. Or, I could wait until we have a marriage counseling session on Wednesday. I'd hate waiting until then, but I think having the therapist refereeing the whole thing might help. When it's just me and him, I have to drag the information out of him, and even then he still doesn't tell me everything he should.


suspicious247 posted 5/5/2013 08:37 AM

Hi - I dont know your story but my initial instinct is why do you need to know why he's moving in with her? I get it from a curiosity standpoint but you will figure that out in time. It will be hard to hide something like that. But if you need to know about the money I think in front of an IC sounds like a great idea. Just my 2 cents without knowing your sitch....

hugs to you

suspicious247 posted 5/5/2013 08:40 AM

Just reread your pst - you want to find out 'before' he does it....sorry.

You may not find out - you cant know everything. But have you installed a keylogger on your computer or installed a recorder in his car? (if you really need to know)

momofone79 posted 5/5/2013 08:42 AM

Thank you, suspicious247. I just need to know if he's going to move in with her & when. I already know the why, unfortunately. I just want to be emotionally and financially prepared. I have a hard time believing he'd stop paying for the home his daughter lives in, but I feel like I don't really know him at all lately.

ETA: He's not really using his computer, since it's at the house & he's not living here. I think they do most of their communicating via text messages, or by the Facebook phone app. Isn't technology great?

[This message edited by momofone79 at 8:45 AM, May 5th (Sunday)]

PurpleRose posted 5/5/2013 13:00 PM

So he isn't living with you now? Is he paying support now?

why do you think he would stop paying if he moved in with her? Are you working towards R or towards D?

Definitely ask. And then get something legal on paper. Protect yourself. Immediately.

sisoon posted 5/5/2013 18:12 PM

Not so gently, do you have a lawyer representing your interests and your child? If not, why not?

Ostrich80 posted 5/6/2013 08:25 AM

M.o.o...your going to have to discuss it with him. You have to protect yourself and your child and be prepared. Do u think he would skip out on his financial responsibility to his child? I know its hard to know what thru will do because we never thought they would cheat either.

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