This is probably true but does it really hurt to look? My signing up online is probably a knee-jerk reaction to recent events but it doesn't change the "feel goods" i've gotten so far.
Hope is right on. Use others who have come before you as cautionary tales.
Yes, it can hurt just to look. As we always say, and as Hope said, broken attracts broken.
So, why can it hurt just to look? Any number of reasons; for example:
1. You say it's just to look, but these are real human beings on the other end. So many times on here, even with people who are healed, they start to see someone and then after a few dates, the other person says they weren't ready to date -- why be on a dating site and play with someone else's emotions and waste their time?
2. Someone who is attractive and appears nice messages you. Because you are not healed and are looking for external validation, you excuse/ignore red flags, which results in you winding up in another bad relationship. Because you're not ready, you don't end it when you should and wind up wasting years or decades with someone else who will hurt you.
3. Even if you meet someone who is compatible, and who would be a match had you met a few months later, because you are still not ready, you screw it up by being needy, jumping into committed relationship too quickly, being overly suspicious and accusatory, or anything else that happens when you're not there yet.
I could go on and on. I suspect you will date anyway, since most people do, then they come back later and say that we were right and they should have waited. It just makes me sad that not only are you likely to hurt yourself worse and delay your own healing, but likely someone else as well.
What's the rush? When I was not yet healed, I was in a rush to find someone since it wasn't fair that he had someone and I was alone. But introspection, healing, and the advice from people here worked. Being alone is wonderful -- I've learned so much about myself and accomplished so much more in the past year than I could have ever imagined. I'm now a better, healthy person, and I will attract someone at that level.
And I know this has been addressed a lot here lately, but NB does not mean dating. Being in search of a NB is rediscovering LastChanceLarry. What do you like to do that you couldn't do while you were in a relationship? Is there a hobby you've wanted to take up or restart? Any goals? Books you want to read? Friendships to rekindle? Dating can be part of a NB, but it shouldn't be the focus or you lose sight of the most important relationship -- the one you have with yourself.