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persevere posted 5/5/2013 20:27 PM

We dated for eight months and I knew this was a possibility, if not a probability, but it still hurts.

He was only five months out from D, he was blindsided, when we met. I knew there was a risk, for both of us, even though I was a year ahead of him in the process.

I felt him pulling away a bit in the past few weeks, and I finally told him that we needed to talk about us. I think I avoided it as much as he did at first because we both knew what this talk would mean.

It was easy to avoid because he has 50/50 custody, week on, week off, so we weren't constantly together.

He's going to IC soon, which is good. We talked about alternatives, like non-exclusive dating, and I didn't rule anything out in the future, but I told him we just needed to work on ourselves and our own lives for a while. We need to move on. And, as I told him, I can't do the friend thing right now, I'd end up being his therapist, lol.

But I know I have to focus on what's best for me, and although it hurts, this is the first step.

He's a good guy, honest, conscientious, giving, but the timing was just off. Or was it? There's a reason people come into our lives, and endings are hard, but I don't regret our relationship.

He met some of you at the SI g2g in Houston, we had a great time.

I know I will be okay, but just need a little time to grieve it and move forward. I haven't even called my best friend - this was the first place I thought of after he left. Thanks to all of you for all of your support.

nowiknow23 posted 5/5/2013 20:33 PM

((((persevere)))) I'm sorry, honey.

phmh posted 5/5/2013 20:51 PM


persevere posted 5/5/2013 21:05 PM

Thank you. I'm just going to take it slow.

Maybe I will lose a little of the weight I put back on since Dday, lol. It's the best part of a breakup.

jo2love posted 5/5/2013 21:15 PM


woundedby2 posted 5/5/2013 21:23 PM


Awwww...I'm sorry.

fallingquickly posted 5/5/2013 21:53 PM

I'm sorry. Hugs.
At least you know you are making the right decision for you. Any ending is difficult.

MyVoice posted 5/5/2013 22:49 PM

Hugs xxxx

VioletPush posted 5/5/2013 23:16 PM

Hang in there persevere! Even if things are ultimately for the best, it doesn't make them hurt any less :(

authenticnow posted 5/6/2013 05:31 AM


SBB posted 5/6/2013 06:46 AM


This is one of my favourite quotes:
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

MovingUpward posted 5/6/2013 07:08 AM


persevere posted 5/6/2013 13:47 PM

Thanks to all of you. I do believe that, with few exceptions, things do happen for a reason. Thank you for the quote SBB.

NaiveAgain posted 5/6/2013 14:09 PM

I'm sorry (((persevere)))

wonderingbull posted 5/6/2013 14:09 PM

You'll do great girl... You stepped out there and took a chance... You can't regret that... It's all a part of living your life... Not every relationship is meant to be forever...

Take care of yourself...


persevere posted 5/6/2013 22:54 PM

Thank you all, and WB you're right, I have to take care of me, that's been my problem all along.

I even sent him a baggage reclaim article tonight that was right on point about both of us, but I know I need to go NC and "Step away from the SEND button".

I think I may need to just not date for a while. Learn to understand the concept of "being happy with just me" - I don't think I've ever really understood the concept.

Amazonia posted 5/7/2013 06:09 AM


The "happy with just me" is a tough one to really get on a core level. It's important though, and oh so good when you get there. And relationships are so much more fulfilling after getting there.

Spirit13 posted 5/7/2013 08:52 AM


I'm really sorry. I hope you can feel better with the decision in time.


little turtle posted 5/7/2013 09:22 AM


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