I'm conflicted bc I feel like he owned some of his actions. He admitted that some don't know about me. Admitted what was wrong and why. Admitted he enjoyed he attention. And admitted that it was wrong. He keeps telling me he loves me. He doesn't want to lose me. I'm not saying I'm staying, but I'm not saying I'm going either. I have an IC appointment on Friday. For now, I'm in limbo. Still distant and just shut down. I don't know that I'll ever be able to open up to him again if I did decide to stay....
I know this is tough - sometimes our hope to keep what we love alive leads us to ignore the facts. I'm not saying run, I'm not saying stay...but analyze the shit out of everything you know and everything he says to find the truth. And simply owning "some" of his shit is no good. He's got to come completely clean - almost surrender himself and give up protecting himself. Good luck - keep posting, we're here for you - infidelity really screws with your sanity...(((foolme1)))
I've lost control. Of me. Of my life. Of my wants. I want control of my life back. I'm going to try to remain calm until Friday, my IC appointment. I'm so upset I could just cry. Why do we believe them??? I'm so ready to just kick his ass to the curb.
Friday can't get here soon enough...
You need to take control over your life ... You CAN take control over your life.
[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 12:32 AM, May 6th (Monday)]
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
He needs to meet all your requirements and keep firm boundaries if he is to be successful in being true to you.
The second time is a huge problem. Repeat behavior, not telling people about you, little remorse.
Take good care of you. Get tested for STDs. Make him do it too and show you his results.
You have time to decide.
It sounds like the words that he chose that have made you question staying were chosen by him, for him.
He isn't sorry for what he has done, he is sorry he got caught. His words are an attempt at damage control.
We say often on here "Actions speak louder than words". If he were serious about righting this wrong, he would have ON HIS OWN, ended any communication with her. He would tell her that he has crossed a line he should not have.
But instead he is giving excuses as to why he can't tell her this.
I know this is a very painful time. It is very hard to find your strength when the person that is supposed to be your soft place to fall ends up being a huge chunk of granite.
Keep posting, making a list of R requirements is good, this helps you to get your thoughts in order.
(((((and strength )))))
My anxiety has started for the day already. This sucks. I will try to focus on my job and not let him ruin my day...