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Lots of feelings of being short-changed

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s+++forbrains posted 5/6/2013 07:41 AM

Last night we watched the movie The Impossible. What got me was the pure love the family had for each other. In watching it I just felt kind of empty. When I needed my ws most to be by my side he hooked up with his mistress. When I was truly needing help in raising our children he felt I wasn't meeting his needs so he went and hooked up with a slut. Our best counselor looked at him and told him I was a "Godly" wife, even though my needs were not met since year 1 of our marriage due to his narcissistic/suicidal mother. During the worst of it, I understood why some moms do drugs for energy, not that I would ever do drugs, I wouldn't, but I understood. I was EXHAUSTED beyond belief and he just kept taking care of himself and his birth family, leaving me to take care of our home and family. When I was the care giver for my dying father my ws was screwing one of my "friends". I just feel short-changed...

Skan posted 5/6/2013 12:21 PM

Legatimate feeling you were shortchanged! Your WH wasn't there for you and forced you to carry the entire load of the joint family that you were supposed to have. It's as if you were both hired to clear a field of stones, but you were the only one that did it, while he stood on the other side of the fence complaining to all of the passerbys about how much work it was. (((hugs)))

s+++forbrains posted 5/6/2013 16:25 PM

Skan-- Love the analogy!! I also love the fact that I can come here and "emotionally vomit" and you understand. Thank you!!!!

kiki1 posted 5/6/2013 16:30 PM

lol, I can't call you s***forbrains I feel short changed too. And we were. i wish i could say something magical that would wipe that away. Just wanted you to know you've been heard and understood.

Ashland13 posted 5/6/2013 16:49 PM

This is a very familiar feeling!

Many examples come to mind during my history with STBXH that relate to your thoughts, S+++for brains.

And all the while during his A and other activities, my needs went unmet as well.

Yet I stayed the course, so to speak and that's a trigger for sure. I had problems with things he did, but tried to work on them, while he went seeking OW and other "activity" outside marriage.

Why do some of us stay the course, while others bail? It seems like there should be other...releases in life, besides As, drugs and things.

Sorry for your pain, you are not alone.

s+++forbrains posted 5/6/2013 18:03 PM

Thanks!!! Sometimes it helps just to know I am not alone!!

scissorhands posted 5/7/2013 03:00 AM

I feel like this too.

My husband got to have all the emotional highs of infatuation from his internet activities and I got nothing but the tired old man (47) that is asleep in the chair by 9PM.
He never pays me that kind of attention.

If those skanks that flirted and 'liked' his pictures of his penis online etc.. knew what a boring old fart he really is. Such a superstud cant even manage it twice a night.

[This message edited by scissorhands at 3:02 AM, May 7th (Tuesday)]

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