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WWMEH13 posted 5/6/2013 09:42 AM

On February 1, I received a NC letter which I have honored. I am doing my work, and really trying to move past this painful experience, learn and grow and be a better person.

On Easter Sunday, the AP BW reached out and started harassing me via text. I requested that she stop contacting me. She contacted me a few more times that evening and I ignored. The Tuesday following that, I received another text, with a veiled threat regarding the release of a NSFW picture she has of me. I ignored that text as well.

Well, sure enough this Saturday I got another one, with another taunting type of message. I need this to stop. She is ignoring my requests, while I have honored hers. All it does is reopen the wound and take me right back to square 1 and keeps him present in my mind.

I have considered writing her an email, with copies of the texts, and cc'ing my former AP and requesting that the texts stop immediately. She has also been emailing my BH and he has been deleting those recently. Is that enough, or do you think I should contact an attorney with a cease and desist letter.

I am empathetic to the pain I have caused a lot of people in this, and I know she is hurting and lashing out, but this isn't helping her either.

Thoughts on how to best handle this?


losingmyground posted 5/6/2013 10:07 AM

The only thing that may help is taking time to answer her questions and give a sincere apology. You owe her that much. I know that was all I was looking for when I contacted my FWH's MOW. I never got it and then left her alone.

You can think about getting a lawyer involved. If you want to take it that far.

knightsbff posted 5/6/2013 10:15 AM

My AP's BW contacted me several times after their D-day and my own. She had questions, I answered them honestly. My AP was still lying to her at the time so from what I gathered that ended the TT for her because he was afraid of not coming completely clean. I had the opportunity to offer a sincere apology. I have no idea if my apology helped her in any way but it helped me that I was able to give one. I still had some things I was lying about and came clean of the last bit which upset her and my BH quite a bit. After that she requested no further contact which we have both honored for nearly a year now.

Maybe you should try to find out what she is looking for and give it to her with as much kindness as possible?

[This message edited by knightsbff at 10:15 AM, May 6th (Monday)]

WWMEH13 posted 5/6/2013 10:15 AM

Losing my ground - I have done that. I spent 3 hours with her on New Year's Eve answering questions and trying to make sense of it for her. Granted, I was still in my fog, and I wasn't 100% truthful, and I did apologize for that a few days later. I felt without compromising what he had told her, I was giving a more accurate picture of what our relationship had been (or thought it was in my fantasy land).

These texts are just her pain manifesting themselves, and no doubt trying to hurt me, and cause me pain as I have done to her. As I said, I have been trying to be understanding, but when you start threatening an action that could affect the custody of my child, it is enough.

I would prefer not to get a lawyer involved, but asking her directly has not stopped her, and I know that the AP doesn't know she is doing this. I figured by pulling him in, it might help. I am sure this isn't good for their efforts at reconciliation either.

WWMEH13 posted 5/6/2013 10:17 AM

The texts are not about wanting to talk or get answers, it is about calling me names, and letting me know that I am nothing. Which is why after my request for no contact, I have ignored them.

But at this point, it isn't doing anybody any good to keep in contact with me for this reason.

[This message edited by WWMEH13 at 10:18 AM, May 6th (Monday)]

Long Gone posted 5/6/2013 10:18 AM

Block her texts, change your number and email....

or am i missing something...

floridaredman posted 5/6/2013 10:18 AM

I would write her an email apologizing for the damage that was caused. I would also tell her that I would be willing to answer her questions if she is willing to be cooperative. If not then I would suggest getting a RO (restraining order) against any communication from her because of the threats.

It is understandable that she is angry and hurt. However DONOT CC the AP. Cease all communication with him whatsoever.

losingmyground posted 5/6/2013 10:26 AM

DO NOT contact her husband. Hell have no furry like a woman scorned.

Talk to the police and start filing reports. That is your only out.

WWMEH13 posted 5/6/2013 11:09 AM

Thank you all. I will not send the email and cc the AP. I will contact my attorney for a cease and desist letter.

MissesJai posted 5/6/2013 11:48 AM

block her number as well.

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