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Newest Member: Comikazi (61805)

User Topic: The stress in the house....
♂ 37081
Member # 37081
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm back to work with my BW looking after our DD and newborn DS. With them being on different sleep schedules, my BW isn't getting much sleep at all. I'm trying the best I can by getting up early with our DS and letting my BW sleep a few hours before I go to work.

My problem is that my BE is getting very stressed. No sleep, she can't focus all of her attention to our DS which upsets her, and of course the A. All if this is causing me great stress. I feel I'm not doing enough for her and the family. I want to talk to her and get her more at ease but we really haven't spent much time with each other. Family is helping but there is only so much they can do. I can't take time off as I just came back to work from a month off.

I'm trying to show my BW I care. I'm trying to show her I'm there for her but feel I'm failing. The A makes this all worse. It's hard enough dealing with this but the added A makes things that much worse. I feel she thinks that because I'm having difficulty with what's going on now that I'm going to deal with it by having an A. I've reassured her numerous times I've worked on my issues and this won't happen again. I just want to be there for her but since I'm not independently wealthy I need to work. Arghhh.

Me: 38 BS: 33
3 y/o DD and one new DS
Married: 9 years
3.5yr A
Status: Each day I find more of how I screwed up

Posts: 249 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Canada
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

one of the best things I did when I had little ones (twin newborns and a one year old) was take the one year old to a babysitter for the morning. I then napped when the twins slept. With that, I was good for the day. It was either that or hire someone to help me.

Is there any way you could afford some help like this, just to ease the pressure of the household stuff or so she could get a few extra hours of sleep? Just a thought.

Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 36813
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! My wh could've wrote your post a year ago! My advice to you is to do everything you can to support her without her having to ask. Try an plan things that allow her some space, make time for the two of you to do fun things, constantly reassure her with phone calls, notes, texts, etc... Also, not sure if your BW would be interested, but I made a good friend that had the same issues as me and it helped to talk. If she wants she can message me. I can relate and would love to be there for her if she needs.

Posts: 320 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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