"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

Lola2kids posted 5/6/2013 12:36 PM

My neighbour and I were chatting in the backyard on Saturday.
She told me that she had seen a car on the street with a man in it and it appeared that the man had a camera and was looking at me through the camera when I take the dog out in the evening to do his business before we go to bed.
This neighbour is pretty skittish and has a full security system and cameras on the corners of her eaves.
She notices everything.
I kind of laughed it off thinking, "who would be watching me?"

But last night...
I took the dog out and noticed a car like she described parked in front of the fire hydrant near where the dog goes. There was a man in the car and he had his arm up on the window edge with his hand on his head. Effectively shieding his face.
I walked right around the front of the car (memorized the licence plate number) and noticed that it looked like he had a pair of binoculars in his lap. That concerned me since we have a key code lock and I worry that when the kids go in the house they don't shield the code very well because they are short.
Could he have been looking to get the code?

The dog peed and I went into the house and locked the door.
When I looked out the window he pulled away and left.

I was shaken but my DD was up and she can sense when I'm upset.

I went upstairs and had a look and found 2 drawers of my jewelry box were left open. Sometimes the kids do that but they said they weren't in there. I was in one drawer a couple of days ago but I don't wear the stuff much.
I don't have anything expensive and only 2 pieces with real diamonds.

Then I was really concerned. I checked around and couldn't find anything else out of place.

I sent a text to Dumbass to see if he had been in the house. Told him about the car and he called me. I told him I had changed the code on the door lock. That was easy. I have a chain lock on the door as well. I put something in front that would make noise if the door opened. The dog barks if he hears things. He is a small lap dog so he's not much for protections.

DA offered to come sleep at the house. I said no, I have to deal with things like this now.

It took a long time to get to sleep and I'm really tired today.

I just can't help thinking that this guy is looking for DA. Maybe his MOW hired a PI or her BH?
Maybe DA owes someone money?
I don't think it's about me. It pisses me off that this could be yet more fallout from this ass that I had kids with.

More to feel guilty about.

I just hope it's not a pedophile.

OMG this is making me so worried.

jo2love posted 5/6/2013 13:02 PM

(((Lola)))

That is scary. I would let the police know the license plate #, what the guy looks like, what is happening, etc... We had something odd happen near me years ago. The police made sure to drive past my home more than normal.

[This message edited by jo2love at 1:32 PM, May 6th (Monday)]

bigpicture3236 posted 5/6/2013 13:09 PM

I would also report the guy to the police asap, especially as you have the plate #. Get your neighbor on board as well and let her tell her side. Sounds like something is going on that need to be watched very closely.
Good luck!

peridot posted 5/6/2013 13:51 PM

If your neighbor has him stalking your house on her camera ask if you can have a copy and take it along with the car tag number to the police dept. Then ask that they drive by your house.

Next time before you go outside, look out the window. If the car is there, call the police. Let them know this person has been stalking your house, your single with kids in house and are scared.

Lola2kids posted 5/6/2013 13:56 PM

Thanks everyone.
I just don't like it.
The street is semi-detached town houses.
There are 20 houses on each side and very little room between every 2 units.
I thought I was being paranoid thinking that I was the one he was watching. There are so many other houses.
My sisters also live 10 houses down.
They will be on the lookout and I am thinking of calling the police to report when I get home from work.
He has been seen 2X now once by my neighbour and once by me.
I don't like it at all.

ETA: Dumb ass hasn't called or messaged at all today to find out if we are ok.
Typical.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 1:58 PM, May 6th (Monday)]

persevere posted 5/6/2013 13:59 PM

Ditto everyone else - call the police asap. Thank goodness you got the plates. Did you get a decent look at him? And definitely ask your neighbor if she has any footage of the vehicle.

That's scary lola - be careful.

Lola2kids posted 5/6/2013 14:01 PM

I was trying to get a look at him.
He was probably caucasian (sp). Couldn't really see his hair without crouching a little down to see in the window.
Hard to tell if he was tall since he was sitting.
Didn't look overweight.
I try to be observant but it's harder than I thought.

Lola2kids posted 5/6/2013 14:03 PM

I'm headed to my IC now and then to pick up the kids from their afterschool program.

Then it's home to call the police.
I'm nervous about calling them.
I don't want to be brushed off.

persevere posted 5/6/2013 14:12 PM

I don't want to be brushed off.

I would imagine your neighbor as a witness of a second incident of an unusual vehicle will help, and describe it just as you did below.

jo2love posted 5/6/2013 16:14 PM

Thinking of you. Please let us know what they say.

Skan posted 5/6/2013 17:12 PM

We had someone scoping out the neighborhood a couple of years back. As we live on a dead-end street that goes uphill, it's VERY noticable when someone who "doesn't belong" is there. He was seen once, 2nd time, neighbors started talking about it. 3rd time, I was driving to my house and saw him on the opposite side of the road during the day I work funky hours.

I got out of my car, grabbed my camera (before I had a cell phone with a camera in it) and my cell phone, and walked up to the front of his car. Took a photo of his license plate. He said "what the hell???" and I took a photo of him. Walked around the car taking photos while he started the car. Told him that I was sending the photos to the local PD and to the neighbors, and if he ever came back onto our street we would take care of him if the PD didn't. He drove off yelling, but we never saw him again.

Now, I wouldn't have done this at night, but frankly, I'd rather someone know that I had their number than have them think that I was going about my business fat, dumb, and happy.

whyohwhyohwhy posted 5/6/2013 17:33 PM

I would definitely call the cops.

There have been a string of burglaries where I live, and you just don't know what some people are up to.

The cops will at least drive by more often if you let them know.

Take2 posted 5/6/2013 18:01 PM

Tell the police your story - they will not only do more driveby's they will question him if they see him! That should scare him off.

inconnu posted 5/6/2013 18:54 PM

Dumbass wouldn't have hired a private investigator to dig up dirt on you, would he? (sorry, can't remember where you are in the divorce process)

Fooled Me Twice posted 5/6/2013 19:27 PM

^^^^what inconnu asked? Would WH have hired a PI to get leverage in court on you?

fallingquickly posted 5/6/2013 23:30 PM

I don't know how safe you would feel about this but could you call a few neighbors to come outside next time you see him and take your camera when you go out? Let him see you taking photos and everyone watching him. Like Skan said above, if he knows he's being watched as well he will be a lot less comfortable.

Lola2kids posted 5/7/2013 06:37 AM

Update:
Took the kids out for dinner after their afterschool.
My IC agrees with all of you to call the police.
I wanted to see if the guy showed up again tonight.
I'm pretty sure he knew I was checking out his licence plate.

I did not call the police last night. Dumbass called me as he was walking around the neighbourhood looking for the car. It would be just like him to punch the guy and get arrested. I would not bail him out.
We are separated financially. We were common law. No court, no custody agreement. I got him to sign a letter for Revenue Canada saying that I have primary custody of the kids so that I claim them on income tax.
He lives about 10 minutes away in a condo.
I joked with the neighbour about DA hiring a PI. He's too cheap to spend the money. I did think that his MOW could have hired someone to check up on DA.

I still think I will call the police to report it today.
I didn't want to do it in front of the kids. My DD told the other DD that daddy was there to find the man in the car that Mommy saw.

I was telling my IC that I'm pissed thinking that this is yet again something that affects me due to DA and his affair.
I seem to shoulder all the consequences.

I'm mad now.

Mousse242 posted 5/7/2013 12:43 PM

Stop thinking about calling the police and just do it. Period.

Report the plate number, etc. Get yourself a pair of binaculars (buy or borrow) and watch for this guy.

This is beyond creepy. Talk to your other neighbors, tell them to all be on the lookout too. Tell them to call the police if they see him or anyone suspicious.

Get actual key locks for your house and an internal security system if you can at all afford it.