Here's the way I'm approaching it.
My xWW is in denial about an affair. She says that the relationship she was/is having started after she told me she was going to file for divorce. BTW, we are still technically not divorced yet. Just in the process. However, a month before she told me she was going to file, I got an email from the phone company about going over the text limit. Not that I cared about how many texts she did, but she got very defensive acting like I was checking up on her. I wasn't and would have never known had the phone company not alerted me because of going over the limit.
Now that being stated. Putting it together, she was at the very least having an EA. Being that only 2 weeks after she said she was going to divorce me she started seeing this guy publicly, I think it's plain to see that there was more than likely something physical. If I were to have access to her email, no telling what I would be able to find out.
However, I am not going to approach this subject because I believe it will not result in real change from her but more excuses, denials and further rebellion.
She knows I know about the texts, but I think she believes I haven't put 1 and 1 together yet. It's kind of funny. The only reason I'm cordial at all is because of the kids.
If she ever has true remorse and comes clean of her doing, then maybe there's real hope. I think all the other situations where the WS is approached are situations where the WS has had their hands caught in the cookie jar. They "change".
But how do you really know?
I don't think you can ever really know for sure if their new behavior is of their own doing or because they're afraid to lose their family/spouse/reputation.
As to why they cheat, who really knows? They don't even know. Their lame excuses are so pathetic it is hard to imagine that they are serious.
For once in my life, I'd like to meet someone who has looked at temptation/seduction straight in the eye and said "fuck off".
BTW, all of you should watch Tyler Perry's "Temptation". Disturbingly accurate movie.
[This message edited by la433 at 4:13 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]